IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In some citites and towns all over the world ,the high volume of traffic is a problem.what are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem.

#citites #towns #world #volume #traffic #actions
A majority of commuters
use
 their own vehicles because they do not wish to waste their precious time
while
 waiting for buses or
other form
Change the wording
another form
other forms
show examples
 of
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
. Those are the main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 that
traffic
 has become a problem in our daily life. I am going to talk about the actions and procedures to reduce the high volume of congestion in cities. Governments should have a master plan of
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
 to facilitate the population which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 growing day by day .
Hence
 , citizens should be very careful when they vote for their
Parliment
Correct your spelling
parliament
 members . They should choose
some one
Correct your spelling
someone
show examples
 who is really interested in the benefits of
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
.
For example
 ,
PM
Add an article
the PM
show examples
 should request
a well-connected train networks
Correct the article-noun agreement
well-connected train networks
a well-connected train network
show examples
 for his area . Sometimes , he can ask for more bus stops and bus lines .
This
 allows his
people
 to commute easily from one place to another .
This
 will lead to reduce the
use
 of their own
vehicals
Correct your spelling
vehicles
vehicle
 and prevent
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic
 .
On the other hand
 ,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should impose a law to charge more money on wheel tax.
Moreover
,
people
 should be required to pay extra if they go to the central business area.
These kind
Change the determiner
This kind
These kinds
show examples
 of legalisations will result in reducing the
traffic
 in towns and cities.
People
 believe that they are not safe to
use
 public transportation at night time . Authorities should be aware of
those
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
 kind of
feed back
Correct your spelling
feedback
show examples
.
Therefore
 ,police should be on sight so that
people
 will feel safe and sound .
This
 will
also
 help to eliminate the potential crime and
people
 will be more comfortable to
use
 the trains. The more
people
use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public transportation, the less the
traffice
Correct your spelling
traffic
 is . In conclusion, I believe that government can take
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
 in many ways to avoid the volume of
traffic
 in cities .
Submitted by sandimyahla13 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction Development
In future essays, ensure a clear and direct answer to the question in your introduction for a stronger start.
Language Variety
Try incorporating varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enrich your writing and better engage the reader.
Supporting Details
Consider integrating more specific examples and evidence to strengthen your arguments and make your points more compelling.
Logical Structure
You provided a well-structured argument that effectively addresses both the causes and solutions of the traffic problem.
Effective Conclusion
The conclusion succinctly summarized your main points and reiterated the potential for governmental action to mitigate traffic issues, effectively wrapping up your essay.
Paragraphing
You effectively used paragraphs to organize your ideas, making your essay easier to follow and understand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!