Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and preparatory methods.

In
this
Linking Words
fast-pace
Correct your spelling
fast-paced
show examples
era,
people
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seem to live
in
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apply
show examples
a busy life filled with work and do not have much
time
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to prepare
food
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for their families and
also
Linking Words
for themselves. Faced with the
time
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limitations
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
work and study, they often turn to
convenience
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foods
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that no
account do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
convenience
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foods
Use synonyms
can replace traditional
food
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and traditional
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
of
food
Use synonyms
preparation.
Convenience
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
foods
Add a verb
foods are
foods were
show examples
increasingly popular because of their prices and sophisticated appearance.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they help
people
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saving
Wrong verb form
save
show examples
time
Use synonyms
in obtaining
food
Use synonyms
,
preparation
Replace the word
preparing
show examples
, and cleaning up. It is
high
Replace the word
highly
show examples
reccommended
Correct your spelling
recommended
for
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that
show examples
people
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who are extremely busy, lazy, or
people
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who cannot cook or do not have enough
time
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to prepare
food
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usually take
these ready-to-eat
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this ready-to-eat food
show examples
food
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as their main meals.
Although
Linking Words
these
convenience
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foods
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are less
time
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-consuming, they tend to have lower nutritional values and some may not ensure their
food
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safety and hygiene regulation, since no one, except the
food
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processing plant,
know
Correct subject-verb agreement
knows
show examples
the exact ingredients that are used inside a box of
convenience
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food
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. I do not believe that
convenience
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
will eventually replace traditional
foods
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, on anniversaries and traditional holidays,
people
Use synonyms
have to cook traditional
food
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with the traditional method of preparation.
For instance
Linking Words
, during the Vietnamese Tet holidays, Banh Chung and Banh Tet are compulsory on Vietnamese
people
Use synonyms
's tables, and no
convenience
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food
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is allowed to be
worshiped
Change the spelling
worshipped
show examples
for the ancestors.
Secondly
Linking Words
, nutrition is another problem. Some
foods
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in
convenience
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stores
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
way too much sugar, fat, or calories which makes
people
Use synonyms
become obese,
not to mention
Linking Words
the lack of nutrition.
Last
Linking Words
but
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
least, traditional
foods
Use synonyms
are the badge of national identity.
For example
Linking Words
, when someone
mention
Change the verb form
mentions
show examples
about
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apply
show examples
Pizza,
people
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will think of a featured dish of Italian
people
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, or Sushi will remind them
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
Japanese
food
Use synonyms
. Not only the name, the history and the way of
prepare
Change the verb form
preparing
show examples
a dish make the traditional
food
Use synonyms
becomes unique.
As a result
Linking Words
, traditional
foods
Use synonyms
cannot be replaced by any other
food
Use synonyms
to fully express the meaning of a country's culture. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
convenience
Use synonyms
foods
Use synonyms
are popular nowadays with advantages that can help
people
Use synonyms
save
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
, they cannot fully renovate traditional
foods
Use synonyms
and traditional methods of preparing
foods
Use synonyms
.

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Structure
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic. It appears that there is strong coherence in how each idea is presented, but refining the topic sentences could enhance clarity.
Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. Although the essay is well-structured, varying your connectors can make the text more engaging and seamless.
Content Depth
In developing your arguments, it's beneficial to delve deeper with more detailed examples and explanations. The examples you've provided are relevant; adding more substance to them will strengthen your argument.
Grammar & Style
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and strive for variety in sentence structures to improve readability and the academic tone of your writing.
Relevance & Support
Effective use of examples such as Banh Chung and Banh Tet to support arguments about traditional food's cultural significance.
Introduction & Conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are clear, effectively framing the topic and summarizing the main points.
Organization
Good overall structure and organization of ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the subject.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • prevalent
  • convenience foods
  • traditional foods
  • preparatory methods
  • advancement
  • lifestyle
  • health concerns
  • healthier alternatives
  • cultural implications
  • culinary practices
  • environmental impact
  • globalization
  • preserve
  • embracing
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