IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries, the quality of life in the large cities is worsening. What possibly can cause this problem? What measures can be taken to resolve it?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is debated that the life standard in
metropolitan
Add an article
a metropolitan
show examples
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
 has taken a nosedive and the reason would be an excess emigrating from
village
Add an article
the village
a village
show examples
 or small
cities
Use synonyms
 to big ones. The following essay will express the reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 issue and propose some practical solutions. It is undeniable that a plethora of factories and vehicles are accompanied by the environmental problem which is deteriorating in
mega
Correct your spelling
megacities
show examples
cities
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, the high carbon dioxide concentration leads to
Correct article usage
the depleting
show examples
depleting
Replace the word
depletion
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 Ozone Layer.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the drastic congestion and numerous vehicles provide the condition of traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
.
Besides
Linking Words
, curbing crimes in
metropolises
Replace the word
metropolitan
show examples
cities
Use synonyms
 requires a lot of
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
,
Linking Words
consequently
Add a comma
consequently,
show examples
 the crime rate rises, too.
For instance
Linking Words
, Tehran, as one of the big
cities
Use synonyms
, always
face
Correct subject-verb agreement
faces
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air pollution and traffic, and most days they have to close the school.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some solutions that would be feasible.
Firstly
Linking Words
, politicians can develop other
cities
Use synonyms
 and construct amenities to prevent
Correct pronoun usage
them from
show examples
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
immigrating
Replace the word
immigration
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in order to ameliorate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air pollution, mayors can assign some biking or free car days which
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
 locals’ participation.
Thus
Linking Words
, civilians should be cognization of principle challenges in their own vicinities, because locals play a key role in decreasing some problems.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, they would make
substitution
Add an article
a substitution
show examples
 of fossil fuels cars for
electrical
Replace the word
electric
show examples
 cars.
For example
Linking Words
, Tehran’s mayor has encouraged Tehranians to employ
electrical
Replace the word
electric
show examples
 cars by taking less tax and free services.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the onus of solving
problem
Add an article
a problem
the problem
show examples
 is on
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 and
also
Linking Words
citizens
Correct article usage
the citizens
show examples
. Government can prepare the infrastructure of some facilities and people cooperate in utilizing them in their lives.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Try to address the essay question directly with more specific examples and a clearer outline of the causes and solutions at the beginning.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within the paragraph closely relate to that idea.
coherence cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structure more to enhance readability and coherence. Adding more complex sentences can help.
task response
Work on adding more detailed and specific examples to support your arguments effectively. This makes your essay more persuasive and engaging.
structure
You provided a well-structured argument with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
content
The solutions you proposed are practical and well-considered, showing a good understanding of the issue.
coherence
Your essay's logical flow from problems to solutions is handled well, making your argument easy to follow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Overpopulation
  • Infrastructure
  • Pollution
  • Housing shortages
  • Rental and property prices
  • Traffic congestion
  • Public transportation
  • Deforestation
  • Urban sprawl
  • Mental health
  • Economic disparity
  • Waste management
  • Environmental impact
  • Public health
  • Recreational areas
  • Wealth gap
  • Cost of living
  • Lifestyle
  • Stress
What to do next:
Look at other essays: