"writing_prompt":"Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?",
"essay":"there is no doubt that technology is
Correct your spelling
enhancing
enhacing
at Correct your spelling
enhancing
the
alarming rate Correct article usage
an
however
, some argue that youngsters waste Correct your spelling
a lot
alot
of time when using smartphone devices in my review, there are several reasons why Correct your spelling
a lot
this
is happening and demonstrate why it is a negative development
To begin
with, a Correct your spelling
growing
growning
number of people believe that people Correct your spelling
growing
specially
Replace the word
especially
children
may easily distarcted
their focus when using smartphones they claim that it is easy for them to search Correct your spelling
distracted
distract
any
information about the topic with just one click and in fact, a source of entertainment for them to carry it anywhere Change preposition
for any
moreover
, another factor why children
use digital phones as to have easy access to social media, thorugh
different social platforms Correct your spelling
through
such
as instagram
, Change the capitalization
Instagram
facebook
and Capitalize word
Facebook
twitter
, one can share their daily experiences with their peers worldwide and Capitalize word
Twitter
lastly
, through andriod
software, many adolescent have the opportunity to play video games online Correct your spelling
android
hence
, theses are some of the factors why children
use smartphone daily
on the other hands
, Fix the agreement mistake
hand
i
believe there are certainly disadvantages when using digital cell phones that have Change the capitalization
I
the
access to the internet what Correct article usage
apply
i
mean by Change the capitalization
I
this
is that,
Remove the comma
apply
children
have the key to enter into different
Add an article
a different
world
of entertainment which they are not eligible for Fix the agreement mistake
worlds
such
as doing extreme challenges that can easily influence their mind secondly
,
when using social media, one may provide their personal information which may include their Remove the comma
apply
bio data
that may have to be stolen or get blackmail by it for illustration back in the days when Add a hyphen
bio-data
i
was in grade 10 my info got Change the capitalization
I
leak
that Add an article
a leak
Change the verb form
results
result
a loss of account Add the preposition
result in
result from
thus
, parental control should be on the head of children
when accessing or using smartphones
to recapitulate, young
generation Correct article usage
the young
spend
Correct subject-verb agreement
spends
Correct your spelling
a lot
alot
of time Correct your spelling
a lot
when
using cell phones as it Rephrase
apply
provide
them Change the verb form
provides
easy
access to chat with different people around the globe Change preposition
with easy
however
, parents should take extra care when giving their children
the chance to use Correct your spelling
smartphones
smarphones
",Correct your spelling
phones
Submitted by 876764430 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Consider using paragraph breaks more effectively to organize your ideas. This helps in enhancing the essay's clarity and readability.
Language Accuracy
Work on your spelling and grammar to improve readability and effectively convey your message.
Task Achievement
Try to develop your examples further to provide stronger support for your arguments. Specific examples can significantly strengthen your essay.
Task Achievement
Strive for a clearer distinction between your arguments, especially in contrasting your views on positive versus negative impacts. This sharpens your essay's focus.
Topic Coverage
You've introduced a variety of reasons why children might spend a lot of time on smartphones, showing an understanding of the topic.
Critical Thinking
Your effort to examine both sides of the argument, despite leaning towards the negative impacts, demonstrates a balanced approach.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.