A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defence but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree? Essay Outline
Since the authority is
responsable
for the safety issues, there is a belief that Correct your spelling
responsible
instead
of filling the social gap, they should invest more in the army. However
, providing a
daily help is important. I believe that the current level of expenses in Correct article usage
apply
this
sector is very accurate and the goverment
makes Correct your spelling
government
people
feel secured
.
Change the form of the verb
secure
To begin
with, I think current
differentiation among social classes requires more attention. Correct article usage
the current
For instance
, some are not able to live in their own country because of the lack of perspectives. They travel abroad looking for the
better future. Correct article usage
a
Moreover
, there are nations that give more benefits for
foreigners than citizens. It causes the problem of migration. Change preposition
to
Consequently
, we should focus on people
well-being more than ever.
Change noun form
people's
On the other hand
, people
value safety. Any extra advantages will not be convincing,
if they do not feel safe. In case of the war, Remove the comma
apply
defence
would play a pivotal role. Add an article
the defence
Nevertheless
, some may still be afraid of joining soldiers. In my opinion, the best solution would be to give the
access to other options. Namely, sign contracts with allies. if any Correct article usage
apply
unforsen
event Correct your spelling
unforeseen
happen
, they will allow our Change the verb form
happens
people
to enter their country and will take care of them. I assume that it would relax people
and will not make any serious impact on the country
budget.
Change noun form
country's
To sum up
, the goverment
should both, support and protect Correct your spelling
government
people
. However
, there is a question whether
to increase Change preposition
of whether
spendings
on the protection and downturn benefits. Certainly, we need to take care of the growing emigration level. What is more, I support finding partners in other countries rather than Fix the agreement mistake
spending
rise
military Verb problem
raising
spendings
.Fix the agreement mistake
spending
Submitted by Aga
on
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Detail and Example
Clarify and expand your arguments with more specific examples and evidence. This will add depth to your essay and help strengthen your points.
Structure and Flow
Work on developing a more cohesive structure by improving transitions between paragraphs and ideas. This will help in creating a smoother flow of information throughout the essay.
Task Response
Focus on addressing the prompt more directly and thoroughly. Ensure that your stance on the issue is clear and that you fully explore both sides of the argument in your discussion.
Balanced Argument
You have made a commendable effort in articulating a balanced view by considering both safety and social benefits.
Introduction and Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are effectively structured, which helps in framing your argument and summarizing your stance appropriately.