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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#process #sugar #cane #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The flow chart below provides the fabricating operation for producing
sugar
 from
sugar
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
Overall
,the process starts with a period of growing
sugar
cane
 and ends with the
producing
Replace the word
production
show examples
 of
sugar
.There are 7 stages involved
this
Change preposition
in this
show examples
 procedure. The process begins with the growth of
sugar
cane
 and it takes about 12-18 months.
Then
sugar
cane
 will
harvest
Wrong verb form
be harvested
show examples
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
help
Add an article
the help
show examples
 of the technique and people .The
taken
Verb problem
apply
show examples
sugar
cane
 after harvest will
crushing
Wrong verb form
be crushed
show examples
 through
special
Add an article
a special
show examples
 machine and the result of
crushing
Correct article usage
the crushing
show examples
 will be
juice
.
Next
Correct article usage
The next
show examples
 step is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
purifying
juice
 with the help of
limestone
Correct article usage
a limestone
show examples
 filter.The purified
juice
sends
Wrong verb form
is sent
show examples
 to
evaporator
Correct article usage
an evaporator
show examples
 where
juice
Correct article usage
the juice
show examples
 becomes
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
syrup
.
Following
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
syrup
 goes to
centrifuge
Add an article
a centrifuge
show examples
 which
is contributes
Change the verb form
contributes
show examples
 to
separate
Replace the word
separating
show examples
sugar
 from crystals from
syrup
. The
last
 step will be drying and cooling the
syrup
 resulting in the production of
sugar
.
Submitted by kooper507 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, cane, juice, syrup with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturing process
  • sugar cane
  • harvesting
  • transporting
  • factory
  • crushing
  • extracting
  • juice
  • filtering
  • impurities
  • heating
  • evaporating
  • syrup
  • boiling
  • crystallizing
  • sugar
  • separating
  • drying
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • stage
  • process
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