The range and quality of food that we can buy has changed because of technological and scientific advances. Some people regard this change as an improvement, while other believe that it is harmful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays,
due to
huge technological and scientific advancements in food
production industry, people have access to a wide variety of quality nutriment. Add an article
the food
Although
,
the diversity and quality of Remove the comma
apply
products
may seem a great breakthrough, I personally believe that its negative aspects should not be neglected.
There are some reasons why some people have positive perspectives about recent changes. Currently, food
suppliers offer a wide range of products
for different demands, especially for those who are vegetarian. For instance
, nowadays, artificial chicken or meet
Correct your spelling
meat
are
produced in laboratories. Correct subject-verb agreement
is
Secondly
, with the aid of preservatives and chemicals that are added to food
products
, consumers are able to maintain and consume them for long periods of time.
However
, I believe that the detrimental dimensions of recent changes in food
manufacturing should not be neglected. The most important point is that adding preservatives and chemicals to food
products
can result in harmful effects on consumers’ physical health. So that
they can lead to cardiovascular diseases, diabetes, hypertension and obesity. Correct word choice
So
Secondly
, the growing production of processed food
by food
production industry has limited the access of consumers to fresh organic Correct article usage
the food
food
. The negative impacts of these kinds of products
on the health of consumers, especially children have been oversight
.
In conclusion, Add an article
an oversight
however
, the remarkable achievements of food
manufacturing should be appreciated, national authorities must impose strict regulations in this
regard and obligate food
suppliers to obey these rules in order to decrease its detrimental effects on consumers’ health condition.Submitted by arman802001 on
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coherence cohesion
Keep practicing variety in your sentence structures to enhance clarity and flow. Using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences can boost coherence.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to back up your arguments. While you've provided general ones, more detailed illustrations add depth to your argument and engage the reader more effectively.
task achievement
Your essay effectively discusses both sides of the argument and includes a clear personal stance, fulfilling the task requirements effectively.
coherence cohesion
You've organized your essay well with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, making your argument easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
You appropriately used linking words to connect ideas, contributing to the overall cohesion of the essay.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite