some people believe a high salary is the most important factor when choosing a job. others believe that a good working environment is more important. discuss both view and give your opinion

#people #salary #factor #job #environment

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Pepole

Correct your spelling

People

have different views when it comes to working;

While

Linking Words

some people believe that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

more income is the main reason

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for

show examples

choosing a

job

Use synonyms

, others, with different ideas,

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

that the most important factor is a good vibe in

workplace

Add an article

the workplace

show examples

despit

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Despite

the fact that income is important, I would argue that a good environment is a top priority in a

job

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. On the one hand, earning more

money

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is always one of the individual's top

aim

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aims

show examples

, in their life,

therefore

Linking Words

some of them have faith

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show examples

money

Use synonyms

, and they want to earn it

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show examples

any cost.

Change preposition

For

show examples

instant

Replace the word

instance

show examples

, they say when you have

money

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, other elements are not important, and you can solve all of your problems with

money

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. When

these kind

Change the determiner

this kind

these kinds

show examples

of people apply for a

job

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, they only consider the wage, nothing else, so they may work in

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apply

show examples

bad

condition

Fix the agreement mistake

conditions

show examples

while

Linking Words

they accept

this

Linking Words

situation.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, others believe in another way. They believe when you want to choose a profession, always working environment is at the top priority, so they did not decide only based on

money

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. In My opinion, working

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show examples

any cost will be harmful

for

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show examples

your mental and physical health,

therefore

Linking Words

you must consider the workplace atmosphere. I believe that when you attend

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apply

show examples

job

Use synonyms

, and it suits you

any way

Replace the word

anyway

show examples

, mentally

phisicaly

Correct your spelling

physically

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

etc, only with

job

Use synonyms

satisfaction you can earn more

money

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. In these circumstances,

environment

Correct article usage

the environment

show examples

pushes you forward,

while

Linking Words

eat

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eats

show examples

out your energy,

vice

Correct word choice

and vice

show examples

versa.

Linking Words

Change the preposition

show examples

the end, despite the fact that some people have more

believe

Replace the word

belief

show examples

money

Use synonyms

, I would say,

Money

Use synonyms

is not so important, and well mental health is more important.

Forthemore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, one of the main

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

show examples

for choosing a profession is income, but

job

Use synonyms

fullfilment

Correct your spelling

fulfilment

is on top of that.

Submitted by mehdikarimi0811 on Wed Apr 24 2024

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Spelling/Grammar

Be mindful of spelling and grammar to ensure clarity and professionalism in your writing. For instance, correct 'Pepole' to 'People', 'belive' to 'believe', and 'phisicaly' to 'physically'.

Expansion

Expand on your examples to strengthen your argument. Providing specific instances or data can make your points more convincing and grounded.

Coherence

Use transitions more effectively to link your ideas smoothly. Phrases like 'On the other hand', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' were used well, but adding more connecting phrases can enhance the flow of your essay.

Task Achievement

You did a great job presenting both sides of the argument and providing a clear personal stance, demonstrating effective task achievement.

Structure

The structure of your essay is clear, with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, showing good use of logical structure.

Support

You successfully supported your main points with explanations, reflecting an understanding of the topic and contributing to your score for supported main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

299 words

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some people believe a high salary is the most important factor when choosing a job. others believe that a good working environment is more important. discuss both view and give your opinion

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays many people travel to foreign coutries foe pleasure. Some believe this travel has a negative impact on the coutries travelled to. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country rather than other countries’. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Scientists believe that computers will become more intelligent than human beings. Some people find it a positive development while others think it is negative development. Discuss both points and give your own opini

Overseas visitors to three different areas in a european country between 1987 and 2007

Millions of people every year move to English-speaking countries such as Australia, Britain or America, in order to study at school, college or university. Why do so many people want to study in English? Why is English such an important international language? Give reasons for your answer.