Governments should be responsible for funding and controlling scientific research rather than private organizations. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#governments #research #organizations

The

responsibilty

Correct your spelling

responsibility

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for

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investment and control over the

science based

Add a hyphen

science-based

show examples

researsh

Correct your spelling

research

should be on

Correct article usage

the governmnent

show examples

governmnent

Correct your spelling

government

rather than owned companies. I strongly disagree with

this

view because they only care about their

intrests

Correct your spelling

interests

and force researchers to perform unethical experiments. But a private one can be more

benefitial

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beneficial

and set their

prioreties

Correct your spelling

priorities

for good. Throughout history, nations cared about their own well-being only

due to

political issues or past feuds. They do not pay attention

about

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show examples

the harm they may cause in

this

process.

Hence

, if they were in charge of

such

studies, they

will

Wrong verb form

would

show examples

certainly pressure their employees to switch their focus on destructive matters,

such

as weapons of mass destruction or bio-weapons in order to have an advantage.

For example

, a country like America has the

upper-hand

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upper hand

show examples

compared to Afghanistan because of the

power-scale

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power scale

show examples

that their scientific team

provided

Wrong verb form

provides

show examples

In addition

, for them to reach their goal, they will spend people's taxes which they have hardly earned on unnecessary topics.

Instead

of developing medicine and

provide

Wrong verb form

providing

show examples

for their own citizens.

On the other hand

, a private organization is under no influence, so they are free to focus on subjects which can come of aid.

Also

, they can go beyond their borders and help many people around the world without politics being involved.

To conclude

, the duty of

science based

Add a hyphen

science-based

show examples

studies can not be

exlusively

Correct your spelling

exclusively

for governments, for they can act

inhumane

Change the word

inhumanely

show examples

towards other nations and forget what services they need to provide.

However

, private companies can act

rashionaly

Correct your spelling

rationally

and cannot be

lead

Wrong verb form

led

show examples

by a nation's

leadereship

Correct your spelling

leadership

system, and can help all civilians.

Submitted by soroush.nezami on Wed Apr 24 2024

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Task Achievement

Try to fully address the question by discussing both sides of the argument, even when stating a clear opinion, to provide a more balanced view and improve task achievement.

Task Achievement

Expand your examples with more detail to clearly illustrate your points. Consider the impact or outcomes of these examples to strengthen your argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve coherence. This will help in guiding the reader through your argument more smoothly.

Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details. This will enhance the logical structure and coherence of your essay.

Task Achievement

You presented a clear thesis statement expressing your disagreement with the given statement.

Task Achievement

You concluded your essay effectively by summarizing your main points and restating your position.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your paragraphs are well-organized, with each one focusing on a specific aspect of your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Governments should be responsible for funding and controlling scientific research rather than private organizations. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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