A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, it seems that social status and material possessions have been important for
people
Use synonyms
to give bias to
others
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, honour, kindness and trust, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
called old-fashioned values, have lost their value already. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will discuss
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
issue of judging
people
Use synonyms
and give my opinion.
To begin
Linking Words
with, I agree with the aspect that many individuals tend to judge by outside of
others
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
as fame and money, not by how they are kind or reliable recently. And I believe the development of SNS leads to
this
Linking Words
situation.
For example
Linking Words
, checking
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the number of SNS followers is necessary for some
people
Use synonyms
to consider whether they will create relationships or not.
In addition
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
always call
them selves
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
on SNS even if they don't have any jobs, which is like 'influencer'. I believe it is because
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
need to judge only by
word
Fix the agreement mistake
words
show examples
or photos on the Internet.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
identify
others
Use synonyms
by status or
posessions
Correct your spelling
possessions
in real life.
However
Linking Words
, I reckon that
people
Use synonyms
don't see
others
Use synonyms
only by eminent. The reason I think is that some famous
people
Use synonyms
have lost their jobs for their faults,
such
Linking Words
as being rude to
others
Use synonyms
or flirting, which
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
revealed in social media recently.
Then
Linking Words
, there is no doubt many individuals value not only their fame but
also
Linking Words
how kind and reliable. In conclusion, I argue that
people
Use synonyms
have
tendency
Add an article
a tendency
the tendency
show examples
to judge
others
Use synonyms
Change preposition
apply
show examples
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
outside, but
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
they still recognize the importance of humanities nowadays.
Submitted by mayu1022.p on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction
Make sure your introduction provides a clear overview of your essay's direction. A more specific thesis statement could improve clarity.
Structure
Work on developing a more complex structure with clear, distinct paragraphs for each main point, including a more defined conclusion that summarizes your arguments and stance.
Examples
While providing examples, try to integrate them more seamlessly into your argument. Also, consider diversifying your examples for a richer argument.
Clarity
Strive for clearer and more direct expressions of your ideas. Avoid over-complication, which can detract from the clarity and coherence of your essay.
Cohesion
Use a variety of sentence structures and transitions to enhance the flow of your essay. This can also help with the logical progression of your ideas.
Critical Engagement
You've engaged with the topic critically, reflecting on the role of social media in shaping perceptions of value.
Example Usage
Provided relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social status
  • Material possessions
  • Old-fashioned values
  • Honour
  • Kindness
  • Trust
  • Judged
  • Importance
  • Traditional
  • Reflection
  • Achievements
  • Hard work
  • Disregarded
  • Well-balanced
  • Meaningful
  • Cultural norms
  • Societal norms
What to do next:
Look at other essays: