A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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These days, it seems that social status and material possessions have been important for

people

Use synonyms

to give bias to

others

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, honour, kindness and trust, which

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

called old-fashioned values, have lost their value already. In

this

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essay, I will discuss

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this

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

issue of judging

people

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and give my opinion.

To begin

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with, I agree with the aspect that many individuals tend to judge by outside of

others

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such

Linking Words

as fame and money, not by how they are kind or reliable recently. And I believe the development of SNS leads to

this

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situation.

For example

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, checking

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the number of SNS followers is necessary for some

people

Use synonyms

to consider whether they will create relationships or not.

In addition

Linking Words

people

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always call

them selves

Correct your spelling

themselves

show examples

on SNS even if they don't have any jobs, which is like 'influencer'. I believe it is because

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

need to judge only by

word

Fix the agreement mistake

words

show examples

or photos on the Internet.

As a result

Linking Words

people

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also

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identify

others

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by status or

posessions

Correct your spelling

possessions

in real life.

However

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, I reckon that

people

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don't see

others

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only by eminent. The reason I think is that some famous

people

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have lost their jobs for their faults,

such

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as being rude to

others

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or flirting, which

Wrong verb form

has been

show examples

revealed in social media recently.

Then

Linking Words

, there is no doubt many individuals value not only their fame but

also

Linking Words

how kind and reliable. In conclusion, I argue that

people

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have

tendency

Add an article

a tendency

the tendency

show examples

to judge

others

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Change preposition

apply

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

outside, but

sometime

Replace the word

sometimes

show examples

they still recognize the importance of humanities nowadays.

mayu1022.pWed Apr 24 2024

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Introduction

Make sure your introduction provides a clear overview of your essay's direction. A more specific thesis statement could improve clarity.

Structure

Work on developing a more complex structure with clear, distinct paragraphs for each main point, including a more defined conclusion that summarizes your arguments and stance.

Examples

While providing examples, try to integrate them more seamlessly into your argument. Also, consider diversifying your examples for a richer argument.

Clarity

Strive for clearer and more direct expressions of your ideas. Avoid over-complication, which can detract from the clarity and coherence of your essay.

Cohesion

Use a variety of sentence structures and transitions to enhance the flow of your essay. This can also help with the logical progression of your ideas.

Critical Engagement

You've engaged with the topic critically, reflecting on the role of social media in shaping perceptions of value.

Example Usage

Provided relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Social status
Material possessions
Old-fashioned values
Honour
Kindness
Trust
Judged
Importance
Traditional
Reflection
Achievements
Hard work
Disregarded
Well-balanced
Meaningful
Cultural norms
Societal norms

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A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

At the present time the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?