A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
These days, it seems that social status and material possessions have been important for
people
to give bias to others
. On the other hand
, honour, kindness and trust, which is
called old-fashioned values, have lost their value already. In Correct subject-verb agreement
are
this
essay, I will discuss this
issue of judging Correct determiner usage
the
people
and give my opinion.
To begin
with, I agree with the aspect that many individuals tend to judge by outside of others
, such
as fame and money, not by how they are kind or reliable recently. And I believe the development of SNS leads to this
situation. For example
, checking up
the number of SNS followers is necessary for some Change preposition
apply
people
to consider whether they will create relationships or not. In addition
, people
always call them selves
on SNS even if they don't have any jobs, which is like 'influencer'. I believe it is because Correct your spelling
themselves
that
Correct word choice
apply
people
need to judge only by word
or photos on the Internet. Fix the agreement mistake
words
As a result
, people
also
identify others
by status or posessions
in real life.
Correct your spelling
possessions
However
, I reckon that people
don't see others
only by eminent. The reason I think is that some famous people
have lost their jobs for their faults, such
as being rude to others
or flirting, which is
revealed in social media recently. Wrong verb form
has been
Then
, there is no doubt many individuals value not only their fame but also
how kind and reliable.
In conclusion, I argue that people
have tendency
to judge Add an article
a tendency
the tendency
others
Change preposition
apply
by
outside, but Change preposition
apply
sometime
they still recognize the importance of humanities nowadays.Replace the word
sometimes
Submitted by mayu1022.p on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Introduction
Make sure your introduction provides a clear overview of your essay's direction. A more specific thesis statement could improve clarity.
Structure
Work on developing a more complex structure with clear, distinct paragraphs for each main point, including a more defined conclusion that summarizes your arguments and stance.
Examples
While providing examples, try to integrate them more seamlessly into your argument. Also, consider diversifying your examples for a richer argument.
Clarity
Strive for clearer and more direct expressions of your ideas. Avoid over-complication, which can detract from the clarity and coherence of your essay.
Cohesion
Use a variety of sentence structures and transitions to enhance the flow of your essay. This can also help with the logical progression of your ideas.
Critical Engagement
You've engaged with the topic critically, reflecting on the role of social media in shaping perceptions of value.
Example Usage
Provided relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!