Some people say in order to prevent illness and diseases, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problem. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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In recent years, it is thought that the main reason causing contaminants in the environment and housing
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues

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. From my perspective, I believe that
authority
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authorities

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need to interfere
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this
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with this

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disease by abating
this
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issues
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issue

It seems that issues may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and giving
the
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their

The word the may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

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opinion in
this
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essay. First of all, infection of the environment
affected
Wrong verb form
affects

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our life in a bad way.
For instance
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, water is
the
Correct article usage
a

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critical element for supporting industries and human life including producing food, washing, showering and some activities. If water is polluted, the living
condition
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conditions

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will be decadent.
Therefore
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,
government
Add an article
the government

The noun phrase government seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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need to focus on declining pollution is essential to good health. Establishing
the
Correct article usage
apply

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measure
Fix the agreement mistake
measures

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such
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as encouraging individual to clean their houses on a regular
basic
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basis

The word basic doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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to avoid
hygiene
Replace the word
hygienic

The word hygiene doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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diseases and fewer insects can be harmful to human health.
Furthermore
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, minimizing
the
Correct article usage
apply

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private transportation
instead
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of replacing
by
Correct pronoun usage
it by

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utilizing public transportation can reduce air pollution.
As a result
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, diseases and deathly disasters are unlikely to occur.
However
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, some people claim that it is politics and the
economy
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that the administration should pay attention to.
This
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can be true in some cases but folks can do nothing without having good health A country whose citizens are healthy is likely to develop more than other nations as individuals are capable of working hard and contributing to the national
economy
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. As only a result folks do not have to spend too much on medical services but
also
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every one of them can contribute greatly to the
economy
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of one nation
To sum up
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, everything has been illustrated, it is crucial for governments housing issue to pay attention to declining pollution and housing sue By doing that, citizens can spend less on medical services and
economy
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to one nation's
economy
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

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introduction
Consider starting with a clear introduction that directly addresses the question and outlines your position. This helps in setting a clear direction for your essay.
thesis statement
Make sure to directly answer whether you agree or disagree with the statement in the question, providing a clear thesis statement early on.
paragraph structure
Organize your paragraphs effectively, ensuring each paragraph discusses a single main idea, supported by specific examples.
support evidence
Enhance your essay by including more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This adds depth and clarity to your arguments.
grammar spelling
Pay attention to spelling, grammar, and punctuation to improve the readability and professionalism of your essay.
cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs, enhancing the flow of your essay.
topic relevance
Your essay discusses relevant issues, aligning with the topic's theme.
balanced argument
Good attempt at addressing both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • exacerbating
  • chronic respiratory diseases
  • cardiovascular diseases
  • air and water pollution
  • medical intervention
  • healthcare spending
  • inadequate housing
  • infectious diseases
  • mental health issues
  • ventilation
  • insulation
  • safe materials
  • government intervention
  • preventive healthcare measures
  • vaccination programs
  • health education
  • economic benefits
  • productivity
  • workforce
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