IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, goverment showed focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #illness #disease #goverment #focus #pollution
It is said that
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
show
Wrong verb form
should pay
show examples
 attention to
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreasing
show examples
 the polluted
environment
 and
properities
Correct your spelling
property
problems
 to avoid
disease
outbreak
Fix the agreement mistake
outbreaks
show examples
.
This
 writer
agree
Change the verb form
agrees
show examples
 with the statement that illness and
disease
 can be prevented
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 reducing pollution and housing
problems
due to
 the places people live affect their
health
 and the
environment
 is the source of food and drink for people to consume.
Firstly
, the place you live in has a big impact on your
health
.
This
 is true
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because it is the place where you mostly stay in , as it is full of dust , you may have
problems
 with
Correct pronoun usage
your lung
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lung
Fix the agreement mistake
lungs
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 and breathing.
Morever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, the
atsmosphere
Correct your spelling
atmosphere
 and
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 of
resident
Fix the agreement mistake
residents
show examples
 have more
variant
Fix the agreement mistake
variants
show examples
 of
character
Add an article
the character
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.
Similar
Change the word
Similarly
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to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, if the place you live is wet and
fifthy
Correct your spelling
thirsty
, you are likely to be infected by some
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
 be insects
such
 as mosquitos
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
Thus
, having a clean , comfortable working and living
environment
 will help you to prevent
disease
 or any other
health
problems
. Moving to
other point
Change the wording
another point
other points
show examples
 that worth considering is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
saving the
environment
 is saving the food and drink that you consume. It is a fact that all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vegetable
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetables
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, meat , water,.. comes from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
 ,
due to
 that, if the
nature
 of
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 is polluted , the
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
 that you consume will be
unsafed
Correct your spelling
unsaved
unsafe
safe
 as well.
For instance
 , when you
littered
Wrong verb form
litter
show examples
 a plastic bag
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the ocean , the fish thinks it is food
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
eat
Correct subject-verb agreement
eats
show examples
 the bag, that fish may be eaten by many other
fishs
Correct your spelling
fishes
fish
,
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
 the plastic bag will eventually go into our dishes as we consume
fishs
Correct your spelling
fish
fishes
.
Therefore
 ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
 is what we consume , so saving
nature
 is the way to save ourselves from illness.
To conclude
 , the
Correct your spelling
government
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 shows focus on saving
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 and housing
problems
 is actually helpful for people in order to improve
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
health
 and prevent
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
disease
 and
Correct your spelling
illness
illess
Correct your spelling
illness
 because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
 is what we rely on

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Your opinion

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