The bar chart shows teh hoghest qualification attained by sex fro the working age population in wales in 2001/2002. summerize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The bar chart shows teh hoghest qualification attained by sex fro the working age population in wales in 2001/2002.

summerize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
The
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
bar graph illustrates the highest
qualification
obtained
according to
sex for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
working age individuals in Wales in 2001/2002.
Overall
, the highest number of individuals had
aquired
Correct your spelling
acquired
GCE A level or GCSE grade A*-C or
equivalant
Correct your spelling
equivalent
as their
qualification
in 2001/2002 ,with a greater
margin
according to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sex;
whereas
a
Change the article
the
show examples
lowest number of
males
and
females
had attained higher education qualifications with a narrow
margin
inbetween
Correct your spelling
between
in between
males
and female. In
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
,
aproximately
Correct your spelling
approximately
28% of
males
were able to have GCE A level or equivalent as their
qualification
whereas
females
had secured the same with a
near
Change the word
nearly
show examples
13%
margin
less than the
males
.
However
, around 29% of
females
were able to have GCSE grade A*-C with a near 10 %
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
higher
margin
compared to the
males
.
Moreover
, as many
females
as
males
,
aproximaely
Correct your spelling
approximately
9%, had obtained higher education qualifications
while
around 25% of
females
and 20% of
males
not
aquired
Correct your spelling
acquired
any qualifications. Yet as many
males
as
females
were able to
secured
Change the verb
secure
show examples
an other
Correct your spelling
another
show examples
qualification
.
Submitted by dinaka0001 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, whereas".
Vocabulary: Replace the words qualification, margin, males, females with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!