IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the consumption of fast food by Australian teenagers.

The line graph below shows the consumption of fast food by Australian teenagers.
#line #consumption #food #australian #teenagers
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The chart compares 3 types of fast food in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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to
Change preposition
of
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 how many
times
Use synonyms
 were eaten in Australia between 1975 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, the three figures changed in different trends by
this
Linking Words
 period.
while
Linking Words
 the number of hamburgers, fish and chips grew quickly, the proportion of pizza fell sharply.
According to
Linking Words
 the line
graph
Add a comma
graph,
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 the number of
hamburger
Fix the agreement mistake
hamburgers
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 was around 10
times
Use synonyms
 in 1975, the next decade it increased sharply to around 81
times
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 and continued
slightly
Change the adverb
slight
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 growth to exactly 100
times
Use synonyms
 till 2000. Regarding fish and
chips's
Change noun form
chips
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 sales, the figure in 1975
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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was just over 5
times
Use synonyms
 after it experienced rapidly rose to about 81
times
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 in 1995.
Afterward
Change the spelling
Afterwards
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, it stayed stable over 80
times
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 from 1995 to 2000.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the sales of pizza experienced
an
Change the article
a
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 decrease in 25 years. In 1975, exactly 100
times
Use synonyms
 were eaten, but
this
Linking Words
 number fell to about 81
times
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 in 1980.
Then
Linking Words
 in 1985 followed by
small
Add an article
a small
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 increase to around 90
times
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 and declined sharply to below 40
times
Use synonyms
 next 15 years.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words times with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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