IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the consumption of fast food by Australian teenagers.

The line graph below shows the consumption of fast food by Australian teenagers.
#line #consumption #food #australian #teenagers
The chart compares 3 types of fast food in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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to
Change preposition
of
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 how many
times
 were eaten in Australia between 1975 and 2000.
Overall
, the three figures changed in different trends by
this
 period.
while
 the number of hamburgers, fish and chips grew quickly, the proportion of pizza fell sharply.
According to
 the line
graph
Add a comma
graph,
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 the number of
hamburger
Fix the agreement mistake
hamburgers
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 was around 10
times
 in 1975, the next decade it increased sharply to around 81
times
 and continued
slightly
Change the adverb
slight
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 growth to exactly 100
times
 till 2000. Regarding fish and
chips's
Change noun form
chips
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 sales, the figure in 1975
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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was just over 5
times
 after it experienced rapidly rose to about 81
times
 in 1995.
Afterward
Change the spelling
Afterwards
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, it stayed stable over 80
times
 from 1995 to 2000.
By contrast
, the sales of pizza experienced
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 decrease in 25 years. In 1975, exactly 100
times
 were eaten, but
this
 number fell to about 81
times
 in 1980.
Then
 in 1985 followed by
small
Add an article
a small
show examples
 increase to around 90
times
 and declined sharply to below 40
times
 next 15 years.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words times with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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