Nowadays many people prefer to shop in supermarkets rather than small shops or local markets? Is this positive or negative for development? Discuss and give your opinion.
Due to
increased modernization, there are so many supermarkets
Fix the agreement mistake
supermarket
building
present in the market Replace the word
buildings
in addition
to small shops. Nowadays, people
are more diverting
towards big malls, Wrong verb form
diverted
such
that the
local marketers are highly affected. Correct article usage
apply
This
essay will discuss not only the positive impacts and the negative impacts of this
development,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
comprises of my own perspective.
On the one hand, commencing with the positive results of increase
in shopping from Add an article
an increase
the increase
supermarkets
, citizens are able to get new products
from one single place. It acts as a single
Add a hyphen
single-shop
shop
solution for all the requirments
of customers. Correct your spelling
requirements
Due to
hectic
Correct article usage
the hectic
schedule
of Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
individuals
, people
are able to shop
various
Change preposition
for various
products
in less time and with high quality from
Change preposition
apply
them
. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Moreover
, shopping from supermarkets
comprises of
some taxes paid to the government, Change preposition
apply
that
can be utilized Correct pronoun usage
which
further
for the overall
development of society, which is not possible through progress
of local shops. Add an article
the progress
For instance
, in 2023, Indian
Correct article usage
the Indian
governement
received 20 million dollars from the Correct your spelling
government
supermarkets
as a tax, which was used in opening
of new medical centres in the country.
Add an article
the opening
However
, on the other hand
, increasing
usage of supermarket buildings for buying new Correct article usage
the increasing
products
is the main reason for unemployment
of local marketers. More consumers are diverting towards big malls, Correct article usage
the unemployment
such
that there are very less customers in the local streets, reducing demand level
in the local market. To illustrate, Fix the agreement mistake
levels
due to
Correct article usage
the inaugration
inaugration
of Reliance malls in Correct your spelling
inauguration
the
Jaipur, 55% Correct article usage
apply
individuals
having Change preposition
of individuals
shop
nearby Fix the agreement mistake
shops
them
became jobless. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Furthermore
, supermarkets
consists
of only branded clothes which are very expensive and unaffordable to Change the verb form
consist
middle calss
Correct your spelling
middle-class
people
. Hence
, these are not cost-efficient for each economical
class of society.
In conclusion, I can say that even if Replace the word
economic
individuals
can buy various kinds of products
by using a single-stand
structure, the main impact is Correct your spelling
single-strand
one
the work of common Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
, having their setup as a small shop
. Also
, supermarkets
can only be accessed by high class
Add a hyphen
high-class
individuals
, as the prices are very high there, creating a difficult situation for common people
to shop
new
things.Change preposition
for new
Submitted by sunitarani00784 on
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General
Despite a few grammatical inaccuracies and the use of informal language in places, your essay presents a balanced viewpoint with well-supported arguments. Focus on maintaining a formal tone throughout and refining your grammatical accuracy to enhance clarity and professionalism in your writing.
Task Achievement
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, but it could be enhanced by directly stating your opinion. In the body paragraphs, your comparison of positives and negatives is well-structured, but aim to develop your points more fully for greater impact.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good structure with clear paragraphs and logical progression of ideas. To further improve coherence, try using a wider range of linking words and phrases to more smoothly connect your ideas and paragraphs.
Conclusion
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points of the essay and reiterates your opinion. For further improvement, consider synthesizing your arguments more deeply to provide a compelling final statement that clearly addresses the essay prompt.
Balanced Argument
You effectively discussed both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view on the impact of supermarkets versus small shops on development.
Use of Examples
You provided specific examples to support your arguments, which helps to strengthen your case and make your essay more persuasive.
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