Some governments spend a lot of public money training individuals to be successful in international sporting events. Some people believe that this money should be spent on things that will benefit the general public instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree
The majority of the
government
wastes more money
on public training people
to become up in forcing sports activities. Other people
say that money
should be spend
on the valuable public normal Change the verb form
be spent
people
. I totally agree with this
and I will discuss it.
On the one hand, these days majority
of Add an article
the majority
people
tend
Verb problem
prefer
the
international Correct article usage
apply
sport
. Fix the agreement mistake
sports
Therefore
, the government
should spend a lot of money
on them. Since the government
needs the international level of the name. For instance
, one of my friends is good at chasing the player. The sports association gives to
the help to public Change preposition
apply
money
for government
spend
Fix the infinitive
to spend
their
training Course and their travel to Australia Air tickets and everything so Change preposition
on their
people
believe that individuals spend money
for waste.
On the other hand
, other general people
say that money
should spend
Wrong verb form
be spent
for
public Change preposition
on
valuable
things. Correct word choice
apply
Such
as,
free education, free medicating Remove the comma
apply
and
etc.Correct word choice
apply
they
think it is more useful than international names. Capitalize word
They
For example
, the majority of people
suffering from the
they don't have to spend Remove the article
apply
money
to take medicing
. Correct your spelling
medicine
Moreover
, another one
Correct your spelling
others
suffers
because they can not enter higher education. They all need Correct subject-verb agreement
suffer
to
Change preposition
apply
government
help for the financial side.
In conclusion, some of
Change preposition
apply
people
believe that the government
should help for
individuals with international sports activities.but others say that Change preposition
apply
need
spend Add the particle
need to
money
for valuable things that the public general people
to spend money
for the requirements.Submitted by ma.ushamanu1024 on
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structure
Consider structuring your arguments more clearly by introducing, explaining, supporting with examples, and then concluding each point.
introduction/conclusion
Make sure your introduction clearly states your stance on the topic and that your conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments and restates your position.
paragraphing
Use paragraphing effectively to separate different ideas and arguments for better readability and flow.
supporting points
Try to ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, supported by specific examples or explanations to clarify your points.
grammar/vocabulary
Revise for grammatical accuracy and range of vocabulary to enhance clarity and precision in expressing your ideas.
perspective acknowledgment
Acknowledged different perspectives on the issue, showing an understanding of the topic's complexity.
use of examples
Attempted to use examples to support your arguments, which is a good practice for illustrating your points.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.