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Some children start school at 7 while others start school at 4. Does starting school at a young age have more advantages than disadvantages?

#children #school #age
Nowadays, starting
school
 at a young
age
being
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 popular
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 some
parents
'
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
.
However
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others think that
children
 should start their first
school
 at
older
Add an article
an older
show examples
age
 like 7. I agree with the
parents
 who decide to let their
childer
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
turn
Verb problem
go
show examples
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
school
since
Change preposition
at
show examples
younger
Correct article usage
a younger
show examples
age
 because it
gaves
Correct your spelling
gives
 them more advantages. In
this
 essay, I will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the benefits of
this
 situation which outweigh the drawbacks.
To begin
 with,
children
 who begin their
school
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 younger
age
 gain more benefits because they can have more proper lessons in class than
home
Change preposition
at home
show examples
. Despite learning from the
parents
 who do not
knowing
Change the verb form
know
show examples
 how to teach,
teacher
Add an article
a teacher
show examples
 from the
school
 is the best solution to give a tutor for them.
Moreover
,
children
 at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 young
age
 are in a critical term to
built
Wrong verb form
build
show examples
 their habits,
way
Correct word choice
and way
show examples
to think
Change preposition
of thinking
show examples
, and get used to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good behaviour.
Henche
Correct your spelling
Hence
,
teacher
Add an article
a teacher
the teacher
show examples
 in
school
 can teach them in the right way to help them grow.
For instance
, my brother who entered his first class at 4 years old can talk more
clear
Change the word
clearly
show examples
 than my cousin who entered
school
 at 6.
This
 is because my brother was taught how to talk properly by his teacher
since
Change preposition
at
show examples
younger
Correct article usage
a younger
show examples
age
.
However
,
this
 decision
also
 gives
disadvantage
Correct article usage
a disadvantage
show examples
 for the
parents
 because they ought to prepare extra budgets for their
children
's
school
.
This
 means that if they want to send their
children
 to start
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
school
 early, they need to
ready
Add a missing verb
be ready
show examples
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
kindergarden's
Correct your spelling
kindergarten's
kindergarten
 bill.
Therefore
, some people
force
Wrong verb form
are forced
show examples
 to take a debt merely to enroll their kids
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
 at
younger
Add an article
a younger
show examples
age
. My uncle is
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 good example
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
. He
owe
Change the verb form
owes
show examples
 money from my dad because he should
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
pay my
cousin
Change noun form
cousin's
show examples
school
's invoice. All things
considere
Correct your spelling
considered
,
send
Wrong verb form
sending
show examples
 the
children
 to enter
school
 at
young
Add an article
a young
show examples
age
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 us more benefits because it will give them good
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
 and help their
grow
Replace the word
growth
show examples
proccess
Correct your spelling
process
.
Althought
Correct your spelling
Although
, it could
takes
Change the verb form
take
show examples
 more
budgets
Fix the agreement mistake
budget
show examples
,
parents
 do not need to force
this
 situation if they have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
bad
finance
Fix the agreement mistake
finances
show examples
.
Submitted by rifkiw1205 on

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Grammar & Sentence Structure
To improve clarity and effectiveness, consider proofreading to correct grammatical errors and enhance sentence structure. This will make your argument more persuasive and easier to follow.
Supporting Details
Adding more concrete examples and evidence to support your arguments will strengthen your essay and make your points more compelling. Try to include specific studies, statistics, or personal anecdotes where possible.
Vocabulary
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and synonyms to avoid repetition and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency. This variety will also make your essay more engaging to read.
Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are clear and summarize your main points effectively. While your essay includes these elements, making them more concise and impactful will leave a stronger impression on the reader.
Task Response
You effectively addressed both sides of the argument, providing a balanced perspective on the advantages and disadvantages of starting school at a young age.
Coherence & Cohesion
The logical structure of your essay, with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, helps in conveying your ideas systematically.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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