There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There
is
widely differing views on the issue that some nn-academic subjects should be removed from school syllabus because in Change the verb form
are
this
case, it would be easier for children to focus on their studies. I personally believe that those subjects should remain in the school syllabus. There are two principal reasons for this
.
One point that I believe to be absolutely pivotal is the fact that at
these lessons Change preposition
in
students
can rest and do things that they like. And these hobby related
activities can help stimulate their brain for Add a hyphen
hobby-related
further
academic studies. Several examples can be brought which
serve to illustrate Correct word choice
that
this
point. And this
idea can be confirmed by the articles published.
Adding further
credibility to the statement brings to an idea of the fact that through these clubs students
manage to find their life-long friends, and this
is quite important for the person, as we are social beings. Admittedly, meeting link-minded people can have a positive impact on the mental health of students
who are under a lot of pressure.
Turning to the other side of the argument it can be possible for students
achieve
better results in Fix the infinitive
to achieve
the
fields of study if they can focus only on Change the word
their
the
studies without any disruptions. What I mean by Change the word
their
this
is that if a person focuses on one things
throughout their life they manage to achieve great things in their Change to a singular noun
thing
carrier
.
In conclusion, by taking into consideration all the above-mentioned reasons, I once again reaffirm my position that being able to spend Correct your spelling
career
small
fraction of the day doing what you want is beneficial for the Add an article
a small
students
, so the school syllabus shouldn't change.Submitted by intiqam.hasanov on
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Task Achievement
Clarify and expand on your examples to strengthen your argument. Mentioning that there are several examples without actually detailing them leaves your argument less convincing.
Task Achievement
Work on developing your ideas more thoroughly. Each paragraph should aim to explore your points in depth to add clarity and richness to your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure a clearer and more explicit link between your ideas. Transition phrases could be employed more effectively to guide the reader through your argument seamlessly.
Task Achievement
Try to avoid generic statements by providing specific details or studies to support your claims, especially when referencing articles or general facts.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay has a good structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Task Achievement
You have successfully covered the topic by presenting arguments for both sides, which is crucial for balanced discussion.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively bookend the essay, clearly stating your position and summarizing the main points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.