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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a professional fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

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In recent years, many individuals across the world have relied more and more on private
fitness
Use synonyms
 instructors as a form of
exercise
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 as opposed to the traditional way of sports participation and joining active
exercise
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 classes.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly because personal instructors offer the best
results
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due to
Linking Words
 their expertise and access to modern types of
equipment
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;
thus
Linking Words
, making it a much more beneficial initiative. Private
fitness
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 instructors are believed to have, not just the qualifications and experiences needed to effectively deliver great
results
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 to their customers, but
also
Linking Words
 access to modern
equipment
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 for exercises.
This
Linking Words
 factor makes them more attractive to individuals, who prefer to make use of the best
equipment
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 available
while
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 being guided by experts who have the best knowledge and strategies to help them attain their body goals as far as
fitness
Use synonyms
 is concerned.
For instance
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, many
fitness
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 centres
such
Linking Words
 as gyms offer different forms of
exercises
Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
show examples
 including weight-lifting,
bicycle-riding
Correct your spelling
bicycle riding
show examples
, and yoga among others, which are all accessible within the same area.
Therefore
Linking Words
, people appreciate the tremendous
results
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 and convenience that come with using a
fitness
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 trainer as opposed to traditional ways of exercising. Undoubtedly, the utilisation of personal trainers is quite significant. For starters, it presents people with numerous
exercise
Use synonyms
 options to choose from
therefore
Linking Words
, giving them an opportunity to participate in what interests them more, or even what is more effective for them at achieving their desired goals.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it instils confidence among individuals in knowing that they are taking part in the correct type of
fitness
Use synonyms
 activities that are within their capacity
while
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 being able to achieve their desired
results
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.
For example
Linking Words
, one can choose to take part in one of the many options available in a
fitness
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 centre and do so under the supervision and guidance of a private instructor. In conclusion, people are now more drowned to hiring personal trainers as opposed to participating in sports and
exercise
Use synonyms
 classes.
This
Linking Words
 type of
fitness
Use synonyms
 is becoming more prominent making it a positive development as it offers the best
results
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due to
Linking Words
 its expert instructions and access to advanced
equipment
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 that
aid
Correct subject-verb agreement
aids
show examples
 in exercising activities.

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introduction conclusion
Try to enhance your introduction and conclusion to be more engaging and comprehensive, capturing the essence of your argument effectively.
logical structure
Incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases to smooth transitions between ideas and sections, improving the flow of your essay.
supported main points
Adding more diverse examples and evidence can enrich your argument and make your main points more persuasive.
complete response
Ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task, including discussing the reasons for the trend and evaluating its positive or negative development.
clear comprehensive ideas
For a more compelling argument, consider contrasting views or acknowledging potential downsides to provide a balanced perspective.
relevant specific examples
Include more specific, detailed examples to support your claims. Real-life examples or statistics can strengthen your case significantly.
logical structure
Your essay presents a clear structure, with a straightforward introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You did well in providing a clear response to the prompt, highlighting the advantages of personal trainers over traditional exercise methods.
supported main points
Your main points are supported with relevant explanations, which helps in building a persuasive argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • personalized workout plans
  • tailored
  • efficient
  • awareness
  • physical health
  • motivation
  • guidance
  • convenience
  • flexibility
  • exclusivity
  • status symbol
  • inaccessible
  • community engagement
  • social interaction
  • health outcomes
  • personal achievement
  • health-conscious
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