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Band 4.5

The health benefits of physical exercise are well-known. Despite this, a lot of people do not exercise regularly. What are the readons for this? What would be done to exercise more often?

#health #exercise #people #readons
The public knows the importance of working regularly.
However
, many do not include the routine
to
Change preposition
in
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 their daily schedules which might lead to some physical issues. In
this
 essay, I will discuss why
humanbeings
Correct your spelling
human beings
 do not take exercises seriously and how they would be encouraged to do some permanently. The primary reasons why individuals avoid working out are numerous; some of them are short of time. The crowd who work for long hours do not have a
freetime
Correct your spelling
free time
 for training. They usually prefer to get some rest or dedicate their free
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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for
Change preposition
to
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 their families and friends during weekends.
Moreover
, some people do not enjoy physical activity. From a financial perspective, the high cost of
gyms
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gym
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 subscriptions led the population to find other enjoyable activities to fulfil their moments
instead
 of paying money for doing a piece of training. From my perspective, some measures can be taken to motivate people to stay active physically in their free
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
. First off, they should be encouraged to spend at least 10 minutes
to do
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doing
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 some movements during their
long-time
Correct word choice
long
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 working hours to prevent
from
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apply
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backache and some muscle problems.
Secondly
, walking between their destinations
instead
 of taking public
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
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 or getting in a car will undoubtedly support
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
physical health.
To conclude
, even though they have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
busy schedules daily, not giving a routine for working out permanently will not showcase positive consequences.
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Task Achievement
To improve your task achievement, include more varied and detailed examples to support your points. While your essay touches on important reasons and solutions, further elaboration with specific examples or statistics can enhance the quality of your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly. You've done well in structuring your essay; adding more cohesive devices can make the flow even better.
Coherence & Cohesion
You've presented a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your essay.
Task Achievement
Your main points are relevant and addressed both parts of the question effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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