Describe some of the problems overreliance on cars can cause and suggest a possible solution.

#overreliance #cars

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These days we

are depending

Wrong verb form

depend

show examples

much on private vehicles

such

Linking Words

as cars.

This

Linking Words

essay outlines the

problems

Use synonyms

that

arises

Change the verb form

arise

show examples

from overreliance on cars including

sedentary

Correct article usage

a sedentary

show examples

lifestyle

Linking Words

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

is the root cause of chronic illnesses

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

on the other hand

Linking Words

traffic congestion on roads which is the main issue in big cities

which

Correct word choice

and

show examples

also

Linking Words

a leading factor causing global warming and environmental

problems

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay will

also

Linking Words

suggest solutions to these

problems

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as using public transport, daily exercise and

walk

Wrong verb form

walking

show examples

To begin

Linking Words

with, these

day

Fix the agreement mistake

days

show examples

people are relying on technology so much that they

even did

Wrong verb form

show examples

not

Rephrase

even relaize

show examples

relaize

Correct your spelling

realise

it if they have to visit the next street they use

car

Add an article

a car

the car

show examples

which

is making

Wrong verb form

makes

show examples

them sedentary and

increasing

Wrong verb form

increases

show examples

the

prevalance

Correct your spelling

prevalence

of chronic diseases

such

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as stroke, high blood pressure and many more.

Moreover

Linking Words

, traffic congestion is the main problem these days roads are packed with vehicles which is leading to environmental

problems

Use synonyms

due to

Linking Words

emission

Correct article usage

the emission

show examples

of smoke and dangerous gases that are toxic

this

Linking Words

all is not only disturbing nature but

also

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underwater life

Rephrase

apply

show examples

also

Linking Words

For example

Linking Words

ozone

Add an article

the ozone

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layer is getting weaker day by day and global warming is increasing

due to

Linking Words

which climatic changes are occurring and weather patterns are

also

Linking Words

changing even in Australia ozone layer is very weak

due to

Linking Words

which

disease

Fix the agreement mistake

diseases

show examples

like skin cancers are prevailing.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, these

problems

Use synonyms

need to be

adressed

Correct your spelling

addressed

urgently

Change the adverb

urgent

show examples

basis and possible solutions should be derived. Public transport should be used with

this

Linking Words

people should adopt a habit

to walk

Change preposition

of walking

show examples

and

exercise

Wrong verb form

exercising

show examples

so that they can be healthy and active.

For

Linking Words

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

a scientific study showed that obesity is the mother of all diseases. In conclusion, in today's fast-paced world people are depending more and more on their private vehicles and

this

Linking Words

essay

adressed

Correct your spelling

addressed

addresses

the main causes of

this

Linking Words

and the possible solutions to control

this

Linking Words

problem.

Submitted by sananayyab91 on Thu Apr 25 2024

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Sentence Variety

Consider varying your sentence structure more to enhance readability and maintain the reader's interest. Using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences can make your text more engaging.

Evidence & Support

To improve task achievement, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by relevant examples or data. While you've provided some examples, incorporating more specific data or statistics could strengthen your arguments.

Linking & Coherence

For better coherence, transitioning smoothly between your points is crucial. Try using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more naturally, which will make your writing flow better and be easier to follow.

Grammar & Spelling

Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and spelling to increase the professionalism of your writing. While minor inaccuracies are taken into account, consistent grammatical practice will enhance the overall quality of your essays.

Task Response

Addresses both problems and solutions related to overreliance on cars, meeting the task's requirements effectively.

Structure

The introduction and conclusion are clear, providing a solid framework for the essay.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

306 words

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Describe some of the problems overreliance on cars can cause and suggest a possible solution.

Nowadays, there is a trend that reports of media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful to individuals and to society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some claim that children are more aware of environmental issues than older adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Patents of obese children should be punished for making them fat.