IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The table below shows information about age, cylinde in come per person and population below poverty line in three states in the USA. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows information about age, cylinde in come per person and population below poverty line in three states in the USA. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #age #cylinde #person #population #poverty #line #three #states #usa #summarise #features #comparisons
The given table illustrates three data which are age, average salary per person, and the
percentage
 of population below
poverty
Add an article
the poverty
show examples
 line in three different states in the USA. In general, it can clearly be seen that the average income per person
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
influence
Correct article usage
an influence
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the rate of
poverty
 in these states.
To begin
 with, California has the biggest
percentage
 of people in the productive age. The
percentage
 of
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
aged between 18 - 60 in California is 70%, so the standard of people's salary
become
Wrong verb form
becomes
show examples
 23,000.
However
, California
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 the biggest
percentage
 of
poverty
Add an article
the poverty
show examples
 population.
Utal
Correct your spelling
Utah
 has the highest rate for people under 18
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 old, which is 28%. Despite having
smallest
Correct article usage
the smallest
show examples
 mean for salary per individual, they have merely 9% for the citizens under
poverty
Add an article
the poverty
show examples
 line.
In contrast
, Florida has more
poor
Correct word choice
poorer
show examples
 population than Utal because
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 has
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 income mean per person.
In addition
,
Florida
Change noun form
Florida's
show examples
 productive citizens
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 less than Utal.
Submitted by rifkiw1205 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, poverty with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
What to do next:
Look at other essays: