IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The given bar graph provides details on the percentage of british people giving money to charity in two different year

The given bar graph provides details on the percentage of british people giving money to charity in two different year
The
given
Verb problem
apply
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bar graph provides data about the percentage of people in the UK giving money to donations by different age
range
Correct subject-verb agreement
ranges
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 over a period of two decades starting from 1990.
Overall
Linking Words
,it is clear from the graph that every person from each generation donated a significant amount of money.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 the most
dramatical
Replace the word
dramatic
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 rise
of
Change preposition
in
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donation
Fix the agreement mistake
donations
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 was experienced by citizens of 36 to 50
years
Use synonyms
. In 1990,15% of people from 36 to 50
years
Use synonyms
 helped financially,which is shown as the highest level of charity in the given chart,
Linking Words
additionally
Add a comma
additionally,
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 more than 30% of adults from 26 to 35 donated a dramatic percentage of
fundings
Fix the agreement mistake
funding
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whereas
Linking Words
 there was a gradual decrease in 2010,that caused a fall of about 15 % and 7% respectively. In 2010,
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
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 of
donation
Fix the agreement mistake
donations
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 by 51 to 65
years
Use synonyms
 old people rose gradually,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 became the optimal level of charity of that year,
while
Linking Words
 citizens over 65
years
Use synonyms
 experienced the same.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
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