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Band 4.5

The illustartions below show how coffee is sometimes produced.

#illustartions #show #coffee
The diagram illustrates the process by which
coffee
 is made. In general, it can be seen that there are 12 stages, from sorting
beans
 by hand to packaging and soldering.
Firstly
,
coffee
beans
 are sorted by hand in order to sort the good and bad ones.
Then
, after sorting, the
coffee
beans
 undergo thorough cleaning using fine mesh sieves to meticulously remove any dirt and impurities. After that, they are dried in the sun for 4 weeks before raking and turning them. At
this
 point,all the
beans
 are stored in silos. After sending the
beans
 to the mill, they are hulled into a smooth mixture.
Then
 starts the grading process, after which. The mixture of
coffee
 is bagged.
Then
 bagged
coffee
 is sold everywhere. Or there is another approach by which
coffee
 can be sold. It is roasted by a
coffee
 machine after it is packed into special packages and sold.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Introduction clarity
Make sure to include an introductory sentence that clearly states the overall process being described. This will provide a clearer framework for your discussion.
Use of transitions
Try to use a variety of transitional phrases to guide the reader through the steps of the process more smoothly. This could enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
Detailing
Consider including specific examples or details in some steps of the process to enrich your description. For instance, what makes a bean 'good' or 'bad' in the sorting process? Adding such details could improve task achievement by making your essay more comprehensive.
Conclusion development
A brief conclusion summarizing the key stages of the coffee production process or highlighting its complexity could provide a strong finish to your essay and enhance its overall coherence.
Content accuracy
You have accurately identified and described the main stages in the coffee production process, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.
Logical structure
Your essay is structured logically, with a clear progression from the sorting of beans to the final packaging and selling stages.
Introduction accuracy
Your introduction of the process and the general overview given are well-executed.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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