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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Swninarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevamit.

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Swninarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevamit.
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The pie charts illustrate the distribution of
fuel
Use synonyms
 products in Australia and France between 1980 and 2000.
This
Linking Words
 essay will analyze the trends and details presented in the charts. During
this
Linking Words
 period, the number of
units
Use synonyms
 of electricity generated by
fual
Correct your spelling
fuel
 in
Australia
Correct your spelling
Australian
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that
Correct word choice
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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Coal increased significantly from 50 to 130. The
production
Use synonyms
 of
oil
Use synonyms
 and natural
gas
Use synonyms
 declined dramatically from 20 and 10 to 2, respectively. It is
also
Linking Words
 worth noting that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 increased from 20
units
Use synonyms
 to 36
units
Use synonyms
, but the percentage of nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 remained almost unchanged.
This
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 is because the total electricity
production
Use synonyms
, measured in
units
Use synonyms
, increased from 100 to 170. The number of
units
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 of electricity generated by
fuel
Use synonyms
 in France is 25
units
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. The
oil
Use synonyms
 increased from 20 to 25. The natural
gas
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 and
hydro
Correct your spelling
hydropower
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power
Use synonyms
 decreased from 25 and 5 to 2 each.
In addition
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, nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 grew from 15 to 126, becoming the main source of
fuel
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 in France in 2000. In 1980,
fuel
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production
Use synonyms
 in Australia.
The coal
Correct article usage
Coal
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 took the lead, followed by
hydro
Correct your spelling
hydropower
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power
Use synonyms
 and natural
gas
Use synonyms
, with
oil
Use synonyms
 coming in
last
Linking Words
. After 20 years, coal still had the largest share, but it was surpassed by natural
gas
Use synonyms
 in
hydro
Correct your spelling
hydropower
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power
Use synonyms
 generation.
However
Linking Words
, natural
gas
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 and
oil
Use synonyms
 came in
last
Linking Words
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words fuel, units, production, oil, gas, power with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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