It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Some
people
are
risk
-takers,
while
others tend to play it safe. The importance of
risk taking
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risk-taking
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in all aspects of
people
’s lives can hardly be overestimated, whether it is about career or casual daily activities.
While
there are both advantages and disadvantages associated with
this
topic, the negative aspects take precedence over the pros. On the one hand,
people
who take risks can achieve more. The
history
Add a verb
history is
history was
show examples
full of examples of famous persons, who decided to quit a stable job and to open a privet business and succeeded,
such
as Steve Jobs and Walt Disney. Another example can be
people
who win the lottery or play
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
stock
Add an article
the stock
show examples
market, even though gambling is associated with
risk
-taking, the prize can be substantially rewarding.
In addition
, some hobbies that include
risking
Replace the word
risky
show examples
activities make our lives more
colorful
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colourful
show examples
, like skiing or skydiving.
However
, there are some disadvantages when it comes to
risk taking
Add a hyphen
risk-taking
show examples
, as only a few can enjoy the outcome.
Firstly
, on one famous successful
businessman
Add a comma
businessman,
show examples
there are thousands of less lucky, who lost everything, as they have quit their jobs or as they have invested
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
risky business.
Similarly
, the chance to win the lottery or on the stock exchange is minor, so most of the individuals just take unjustified
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
by paying the money for the illusion of getting rich quickly and easily.
Further
, risky sports often result in injury or may even take life.
Finally
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
risk
-taking
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
develops
addiction
Add an article
an addiction
show examples
and causes
people
to look for more and more dangerous projects. In conclusion,
however
sometimes taking
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
can significantly improve peoples’
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, there are
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
show examples
of disadvantages that outweigh the positive aspects. Only a limited amount of
people
can get the desired result,
while
the rest will suffer from unexpected or harmful
outcome
Fix the agreement mistake
outcomes
show examples
.
Submitted by vikiregev on

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Response Balance
Ensure that your essay clearly addresses the prompt by presenting a more balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages before concluding which one outweighs the other.
Sentence Variety
Using varied sentence structures and transitions can enhance the flow and clarity of your argument, making it easier for readers to follow your points.
Specific Examples
While you provide examples to support your points, aiming for more detailed and specific instances related to personal rather than generic experiences could strengthen your argument.
Use of Examples
You've successfully used real-life examples like Steve Jobs and Walt Disney to illustrate points about taking risks, which adds depth to your argument.
Structure
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly structured, effectively framing your essay and providing a concise summary of your arguments, which aids in coherency.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
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