It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
Some
people
are risk
-takers, while
others tend to play it safe. The importance of risk taking
in all aspects of Add a hyphen
risk-taking
people
’s lives can hardly be overestimated, whether it is about career or casual daily activities. While
there are both advantages and disadvantages associated with this
topic, the negative aspects take precedence over the pros.
On the one hand, people
who take risks can achieve more. The history
full of examples of famous persons, who decided to quit a stable job and to open a privet business and succeeded, Add a verb
history is
history was
such
as Steve Jobs and Walt Disney. Another example can be people
who win the lottery or play at
Change preposition
in
stock
market, even though gambling is associated with Add an article
the stock
risk
-taking, the prize can be substantially rewarding. In addition
, some hobbies that include risking
activities make our lives more Replace the word
risky
colorful
, like skiing or skydiving.
Change the spelling
colourful
However
, there are some disadvantages when it comes to risk taking
, as only a few can enjoy the outcome. Add a hyphen
risk-taking
Firstly
, on one famous successful businessman
there are thousands of less lucky, who lost everything, as they have quit their jobs or as they have invested Add a comma
businessman,
the
money Correct article usage
apply
to
Change preposition
in
the
risky business. Correct article usage
a
Similarly
, the chance to win the lottery or on the stock exchange is minor, so most of the individuals just take unjustified risk
by paying the money for the illusion of getting rich quickly and easily. Fix the agreement mistake
risks
Further
, risky sports often result in injury or may even take life. Finally
, the
Correct article usage
apply
risk
-taking behavior
develops Change the spelling
behaviour
addiction
and causes Add an article
an addiction
people
to look for more and more dangerous projects.
In conclusion, however
sometimes taking risk
can significantly improve peoples’ Fix the agreement mistake
risks
life
, there are Fix the agreement mistake
lives
plethora
of disadvantages that outweigh the positive aspects. Only a limited amount of Add an article
a plethora
people
can get the desired result, while
the rest will suffer from unexpected or harmful outcome
.Fix the agreement mistake
outcomes
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Response Balance
Ensure that your essay clearly addresses the prompt by presenting a more balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages before concluding which one outweighs the other.
Sentence Variety
Using varied sentence structures and transitions can enhance the flow and clarity of your argument, making it easier for readers to follow your points.
Specific Examples
While you provide examples to support your points, aiming for more detailed and specific instances related to personal rather than generic experiences could strengthen your argument.
Use of Examples
You've successfully used real-life examples like Steve Jobs and Walt Disney to illustrate points about taking risks, which adds depth to your argument.
Structure
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly structured, effectively framing your essay and providing a concise summary of your arguments, which aids in coherency.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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