The charts bellow show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.

The charts bellow show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.
The
charts
illustrate the percentage of the usage of water for
three
types of purposes in North
America
, South
America
, Europe, Africa, Central
Asia
and South East
Asia
.
Overall
, most percentage of water was used for agriculture by South
America
, Africa , Central
Asia
and South East
Asia
. Percentages between
forty eight
Add a hyphen
forty-eight
show examples
and
fifty
Add a hyphen
fifty-three
show examples
three
of water was consumed for industry. Domestic
use
was over ten
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
in
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
three
charts
and it was less than ten
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
three
charts
.
According to
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
three
charts
, domestic
use
was not as much as agricultural
use
. Industrial
use
in North
America
and Europe
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
approximately
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
. Domestic uses in
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
three
charts
are close to each other.
According to
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
three
charts
,
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
two
use
Fix the agreement mistake
uses
show examples
were not as popular as agricultural
use
and domestic uses in Central
Asia
and South East
Asia
are exactly
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
. Industrial
use
was the least in Central
Asia
even though it was more than domestic
use
in
South East
Correct your spelling
Southeast
show examples
Asia
.
Submitted by buyabuya201 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, last".
Vocabulary: Replace the words charts, three, america, asia, use with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 6 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Allocation
  • Sustainability
  • Efficiency
  • Industrialization
  • Domestic sector
  • Agricultural sector
  • Global trends
  • Water scarcity
  • Resource management
  • Technological innovations
  • Water recycling
  • Population growth
  • International cooperation
  • Water wastage
  • Sustainable practices
  • Water footprint
  • Resource allocation conflicts
  • Environmental impact
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