IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The maps below show the village of Stokeford in 1930 and in 2010 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The maps below show the village of Stokeford in 1930 and in 2010 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given maps demonstrate how
a
Correct article usage
the

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 village of Stokeford transformed over
a
Change the article
an

The article a may be incorrect. Consider changing it to agree with the beginning sound of the following word 80-year.

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 80-year period from 1930 to 2010. By and large,
it is clear that
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the area underwent significant transformations with the most noticeable changes being the conversion of farmlands into various new facilities to cater for residents’ needs. In 1930, the farmland accounted for the majority of the
north east
Correct your spelling
northeast

The word north east seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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 of the map.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, until 2010, the farmland was destroyed and replaced by primary
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools

It seems that school may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 and
houses
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the former was expanded from the first
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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building to three buildings, and the latter was extended from 1 row of
houses
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 to 2 rows of
houses
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 with 1 path between 2 rows.
Besides
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, to the north of the post office, the shops were demolished
and
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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to make way for 2 rows of
houses
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 with 9
houses
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 from 1 row of
houses
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 with 3
houses
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 before
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the post office remained the same. As regards the
sourthen
Correct your spelling
southern

If you don’t want sourthen to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

area, a lot of
houses
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 were built on the original site of the farmland located to the east of the river Stoke in 1930. To the
Add a hyphen
south-east

It appears that south east is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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south east
Correct your spelling
southeast

The word south east seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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 of the map, the garden was knocked down and the large house was widened into

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words houses with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • village
  • maps
  • Stokeford
  • 1930
  • 2010
  • main features
  • overview
  • changes
  • similarities
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