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Band 5

the environment problem facing today's world are so great that there is little ordinary people can do to improve the situation. Government and large companies should responsible for the deducing the amount of damage being done to the environment. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#environment #world #people #situation #government #companies #amount #damage
In the contemporary world , environmental pollution is
the
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apply
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one of the major threats to society. People
believes
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believe
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 that it
has
Verb problem
is
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 not
much
Rephrase
very
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resposible
Correct your spelling
responsible
 for citizens .
While
,
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apply
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 state and mega factories
responsible
Add a missing verb
are responsible
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 for the reduction of damage to the climate . I partly agree with
this
 assertion and
this
 essay will acknowledge the validity of
this
 statement and
elaborates
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elaborate
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my
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on my
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 reason. On the one hand, common citizens
plays
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play
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an
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a
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 crucial role in
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the
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environment , every one has major
concern
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concerns
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 regarding it as it degrading day -by -day .People should reduce
use
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the use
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 of plastic
as well as
 not letting
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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public . Garbage should be sorted out
according to
 the recycle
bins
.
For instance
 , all
recycle
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recycled
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 bottles,
Correct word choice
and
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plastic
in
Add a missing verb
are in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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yellow
bins
as well
as
Correct word choice
and
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weaste
Correct your spelling
waste
 and leftovers
in
Add a missing verb
are in
show examples
 red
bins
 .
This
practise
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practice
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 will
helps
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help
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 to decline global warming by recycling.
In addition
 to that , commuting
in
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by
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 public transport like train ,
bus
Correct word choice
or bus
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instead
 of private
vehicle
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vehicles
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as
Correct word choice
apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
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air
 pollution .
On the other hand
 ,Government authorities and large factories have
bigger
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a bigger
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 role in environmental damage . The government should spend some money on awareness programs to educate the people on how to use
bins
 for waste material and
also
 impose
fine
Fix the agreement mistake
fines
show examples
 for not using them properly .
However
, big factories are
realising
Verb problem
releasing
show examples
 huge smoke into
air
Add an article
the air
show examples
 which
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
 bad
air
 quality
as
Correct word choice
and as
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 a result it
effect
Correct your spelling
affects
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health
Correct article usage
the health
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 of the citizens .
Furthermore
, chemical release from the pharmaceutical spoils the
ground water
Correct your spelling
groundwater
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.
For example
 ,In
Correct article usage
an India
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India
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Indian
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 city called
hyderabad
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Hyderabad
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is
an
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a
show examples
 hub of medicine
manufacture
Wrong verb form
manufacturing
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, they
stated
Correct your spelling
started
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 realsing waste
chemical
Fix the agreement mistake
chemicals
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 to the ground ,
the
Correct word choice
and the
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 whole
area
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area's
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 water is not useful for drinking . The government and
comanies
Correct your spelling
companies
 should take
measure
Fix the agreement mistake
measures
show examples
 to purify the
air
 quality by installing
air
purify
Wrong verb form
purifying
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 towers
as well
as
Correct word choice
and
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 manufacturing units should
be relocate
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be relocated
show examples
 from public
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
.
To conclude
, all of them have
equals
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equal
show examples
 responsibility for protecting our environment by
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
 right
this
 , awareness campaign from authorities
However
, companies should find
alternative
Fix the agreement mistake
alternatives
show examples
 for their waste disposal.
Submitted by nikhilguni on

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Grammar & Spelling
Be mindful of grammatical errors and spelling mistakes, as they can slightly hinder the clarity and professionalism of your essay.
Vocabulary Enhancement
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your points more vividly and accurately. This will also demonstrate your language proficiency more effectively.
Argument Development
Ensure your arguments are well-developed. Expanding on your examples and explanations can make your viewpoints more compelling.
Cohesion & Flow
Focus on the cohesion between paragraphs. Use a variety of transition words to link ideas smoothly and logically.
Introduction Clarity
You have effectively introduced the topic and presented a clear thesis statement.
Balanced Argumentation
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
Use of Examples
You included specific examples, such as the waste management practices and the case study of Hyderabad, which strengthen your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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