Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, education is a driving factor in the development of the public in every aspect. Some citizens consider that families hope to orient kids, with the goal of how they can become beneficial for society. When
children
have education in school
that is
a learned method better than their parent. In
this
essay, I will discuss the rationales behind these two views before showing why I favour the latter statement. On the one hand, teaching kids at
home
is a method of insight in the aspect of character, and health. In an extreme instance, homeschooling is a way of improving behaviour and mentality. When
children
learn at
home
, it will reduce pressure, because kids will be free to create whatever they want, and unlimited by a rule.
Moreover
, learning at
home
brings along benefits. They can concentrate on talent progress. When studying at an academy, students will learn a complex subject, and only by following marks, but lose an opportunity that
develops
Wrong verb form
develop
show examples
their aptitude.
Consequently
, homeschooling is a significant solution for young people.
However
,
this
can limit the ability to socialize.
On the other hand
, when teenagers are taught at an institute, they will experience social communication. For illustration, school is a crowded place, and it is combined with more status of people in emotion. When the youngsters have an approach to the above statements, they not only fine-tune knowledge but
also
form habits that adapt to around environment. Another point to discuss is that school is an educational system and is recognized by the standard of authority.
Besides
, the level of reliability of an academic program is higher than homeschooling, and the infant will study with an expert, leading to the child being aware of the problem in logic, and having the capacity to debate. For the reasons mentioned above, I realized that learning at
home
, and teaching experts has a benefit and drawbacks. In my personal viewpoint, a place for instruction brings growth for
children
and affects on increasing development of society.
Furthermore
, parents need to be balanced and orientate
children
to become the best version compared to the past.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Example Relevance
To enhance your essay, consider providing more concrete examples to support your points. While your ideas are clear, tangible examples can make your arguments more persuasive and relatable.
Improved Transitions
Although your essay has a suitable structure and framework, you could improve your coherence by ensuring smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. This can be done by using a variety of linking words and phrases to better connect your thoughts.
Balanced Discussion
Pay attention to maintaining a balanced discussion of both views before presenting your own opinion. Ensure that each perspective is explored with equal depth and consideration.
Structural Coherence
You have effectively structured your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion summarizing your stance, which aids in the logical flow of ideas.
Effective Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarized your standpoint, demonstrating a good control over organizing your response to the task.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays: