Some people believe that employees should stay in the same job for the rest of their lives. Others think they should switch jobs at least once during their career. To what extent do you agree / disagree?

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I would say that the older one gets, the easier for them to make friends. If you live long enough, you are likely to gain much experience. And
thus
, you have more materials to form your stories and share them with everybody else.
Additionally
, once you
gets
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get
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older, you will be able to
acummulate
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accumulate
new skill sets
that
is
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are
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essential for communication, which
give
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gives
show examples
you the motivation to break the ice with people you first meet.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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task response
Your essay seems to address a different topic from the one given. It's essential to respond directly to the task question regarding the idea of whether employees should switch jobs or stay in the same job for their entire career.
structure
Introduce your essay with a clear statement that responds directly to the task question. Use one paragraph for introduction, two or three paragraphs for the main body, and one paragraph for the conclusion.
supporting details
Support your main points with specific examples or experiences to strengthen your arguments.
creativity
Your essay provides an interesting perspective on how aging can influence one's ability to make friends and share experiences, which shows creative thinking.
insight
The essay suggests an understanding of how personal growth and experience accumulation can aid in communication, indicating awareness of interpersonal dynamics.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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