IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local costum and behavior others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural difference Discuss both view and give your opinion.

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Thanks to globalization, the world has become a smaller place than ever before.
While
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 some feel that expats must follow the traditions of the nation they are visiting, I,
however
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, agree with those who feel that the host country should allow different cultures. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I will discuss both viewpoints and give my opinion with relevant examples.On the one hand, it could be argued that if the expats follow local rituals,
then
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 the cultural values of the visiting country would reach a wider audience. In fact, the
visitors
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 might explore more about the visited nations' rituals once they reach back their homes.
For instance
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, the Russian government has made it compulsory for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
temporary residents to learn and follow their local
customs
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 when they are in Russia, resulting in more
visitors
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 who are aware of Russian history.
On the other hand
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, I firmly believe that
visitors
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 from other countries would bring cultural diversity if they
follow
Wrong verb form
followed
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 their
customs
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 and traditions in the visiting nation. Take Canada
for example
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, where Indians are seen in high numbers celebrating their native festivals, which allows locals to know the Indian
customs
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 and their core values.
Moreover
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, I
also
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 think that these cultural differences allow locals and temporary residents to learn each other's traditional values, which could be helpful in their personal and professional growth.In conclusion,
although
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 some think that their local cultures can be reached
to
Change preposition
by
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 more people if they restrict foreigners from using their
customs
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 during the visit, the chance to learn the benefits of cultural diversity would be missed.
Therefore
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, I strongly believe that
visitors
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 should be allowed to follow their
customs
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 in a foreign country.

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coherence
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that supporting details are relevant and well-structured. This will enhance the overall coherence.
introduction conclusion
Refine the conclusion by making it more comprehensive, encapsulating all the main points discussed for a more impactful summary.
task achievement
Further elaborate on specific examples to clearly demonstrate how they support your arguments. This will strengthen the task achievement.
logical structure
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, with a well-defined introduction and conclusion.
supported main points
The main ideas are effectively presented and supported by relevant examples.
complete response
The task response effectively addresses both viewpoints and provides a strong opinion supported by relevant arguments.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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