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Writing Samples /
Band 6

The table below shows the monthly expenditure of an average Australian family in 1991 and 2001. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the monthly expenditure of an average Australian family in 1991 and 2001. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#expenditure #australian #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given table illustrates
expenditure
Correct article usage
the expenditure
show examples
 of most Australian households per month in 1991 and 2001. It is estimated by
Australian
Add an article
the Australian
show examples
 dollar.
Overall
,
total
Change the article
a total
the total
show examples
 number of
dollar
Fix the agreement mistake
dollars
show examples
 spent
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 expenditure for Australian
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 had increased in number
whereas
 in 1991 only about 675.
However
, there was
Correct article usage
a slightly
show examples
slightly increased
Replace the word
slight increase
show examples
 in the
year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2001
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 it ended up
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 715.
In addition
, there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 an
increased
Change the form of the verb
increase
show examples
 in several categories
such
 as food, electricity and water, housing and
others good
Fix the agreement mistake
other goods
show examples
.
Start
Wrong verb form
Starting
show examples
 with food, it
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
slightly rose from 155 to 160 in 2001, followed by electricity and water had roughly increased from 75 to 120 in the
year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2001.
Next,
housing and other goods
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rose in number
whereas
 both were 270 and 100 in 2001.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand,
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 categories
such
 as clothing and transport,
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
had decreased in numbers for the
year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2021.
Furthermore
, clothing was 30 in 1991 turn
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 20 in 2001 and followed
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 transport that fell
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 45 which was 70 in the
year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1991.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such, whereas".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
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