Nowadaya both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. this was not so in past. what may be the root cause of this behaviour? discuss the reasons and possible results.
Nowadays, individuals of both genders spend more money on
beauty
care
and cosmetic tools
in comparison to the past. The main causes of this
phenomenon are increasing advertisements about fashion and rising income and using beauty
care
tools
leads to unreal beauty
and skin
diseases.
By increasing revenue, all people
try to use beauty
care
to show themselves more attractive. In the past, society made limited money and they just spent it on necessary demands like food, clothes, and accommodation but now their earnings are much more than they need, and due to
that
they try to purchase inessential Add a comma
that,
tools
like beauty
care
tools
. In addition
, Social media has the most impact on our lives and lifestyle and all people
follow everything that becomes a trend. Various media like YouTube, Tiktak and Instagram exist and famous people
advertise many beauty
care
tools
because they have contracts with beauty
companies or these companies sponsor them. For instance
, Kim Kardashian is one of the most popular celebrities and many people
particularly youngsters follow her she focuses on advertising beauty
care
products and it can be seen the brand which she advertises as much profit.
As a consequence
, many people
particularly women and girls have fake beauty
and unnatural faces. Women and girls try to makeup more attractive by using different tools
and in spite of that men are attracted but these women do not have beautiful faces in their real life and sometimes it can cause problems in their common life after some years like divorce. Moreover
, most beauty
care
tools
are created with chemical components that are harmful to the skin
. By utilizing these kinds of compounds, people
encounter many skin
diseases and their skin
quality will be demolished. For example
, the majority of beauty
care
products include mercury which is harmful to our bodies and leads to cancer and other illnesses.
In conclusion, increasing advertisements about beauty
care
and fashion and surging wages lead to spending more money on beauty
care
products in comparison to the past which leads to an increase in unnatural faces and skin
diseases.Submitted by hadadianmohamadhossein on
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Task Achievement
Try to clarify and deepen your argumentation by expanding on your examples and how they specifically support your points. Including more detailed examples and the logical connection between them and your argument can significantly enrich your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Organize your essay into distinct paragraphs, each addressing a particular aspect of the question. Make sure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas within them are logically ordered.
Other
Using a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures can help to better express your ideas and make your essay more engaging. Avoid repetition of words and phrases when possible.
Other
Pay attention to the accuracy and appropriateness of language use. Avoid grammatical errors and strive to use the correct form of words and phrases.
Task Achievement
You effectively addressed the essay topic by discussing both causes and consequences of the trend towards increased spending on beauty care. This shows a good understanding of the task.
Task Achievement
You made good use of examples, like the reference to Kim Kardashian and the impact of social media, to illustrate your points. This helps to make your argument more concrete.
