Nowadaya both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. this was not so in past. what may be the root cause of this behaviour? discuss the reasons and possible results.

Nowadays, individuals of both genders spend more money on

beauty

Use synonyms

care

Use synonyms

and cosmetic

tools

Use synonyms

in comparison to the past. The main causes of

this

Linking Words

phenomenon are increasing advertisements about fashion and rising income and using

beauty

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care

Use synonyms

tools

Use synonyms

leads to unreal

beauty

Use synonyms

and

skin

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diseases. By increasing revenue, all

people

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try to use

beauty

Use synonyms

care

Use synonyms

to show themselves more attractive. In the past, society made limited money and they just spent it on necessary demands like food, clothes, and accommodation but now their earnings are much more than they need, and

due to

Linking Words

that

Add a comma

that,

show examples

they try to purchase inessential

tools

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beauty

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care

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tools

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In addition

Linking Words

, Social media has the most impact on our lives and lifestyle and all

people

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follow everything that becomes a trend. Various media like YouTube, Tiktak and Instagram exist and famous

people

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advertise many

beauty

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care

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tools

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because they have contracts with

beauty

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companies or these companies sponsor them.

For instance

Linking Words

, Kim Kardashian is one of the most popular celebrities and many

people

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particularly youngsters follow her she focuses on advertising

beauty

Use synonyms

care

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products and it can be seen the brand which she advertises as much profit.

As a consequence

Linking Words

, many

people

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particularly women and girls have fake

beauty

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and unnatural faces. Women and girls try to makeup more attractive by using different

tools

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and in spite of that men are attracted but these women do not have beautiful faces in their real life and sometimes it can cause problems in their common life after some years like divorce.

Moreover

Linking Words

, most

beauty

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care

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tools

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are created with chemical components that are harmful to the

skin

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. By utilizing these kinds of compounds,

people

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encounter many

skin

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diseases and their

skin

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quality will be demolished.

For example

Linking Words

, the majority of

beauty

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care

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products include mercury which is harmful to our bodies and leads to cancer and other illnesses. In conclusion, increasing advertisements about

beauty

Use synonyms

care

Use synonyms

and fashion and surging wages lead to spending more money on

beauty

Use synonyms

care

Use synonyms

products in comparison to the past which leads to an increase in unnatural faces and

skin

Use synonyms

diseases.

hadadianmohamadhossein

Apr 26, 2024

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Task Achievement

Try to clarify and deepen your argumentation by expanding on your examples and how they specifically support your points. Including more detailed examples and the logical connection between them and your argument can significantly enrich your essay.

Coherence & Cohesion

Organize your essay into distinct paragraphs, each addressing a particular aspect of the question. Make sure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas within them are logically ordered.

Other

Using a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures can help to better express your ideas and make your essay more engaging. Avoid repetition of words and phrases when possible.

Other

Pay attention to the accuracy and appropriateness of language use. Avoid grammatical errors and strive to use the correct form of words and phrases.

Task Achievement

You effectively addressed the essay topic by discussing both causes and consequences of the trend towards increased spending on beauty care. This shows a good understanding of the task.

Task Achievement

You made good use of examples, like the reference to Kim Kardashian and the impact of social media, to illustrate your points. This helps to make your argument more concrete.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

348 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Societal pressure
Media influence
Unrealistic beauty standards
Technological advancements
Disposable income
Homogenous beauty ideal
Globalization
Cosmetic trends
Psychological impact
Self-esteem
Social status
Beauty care
Personal appearance

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Nowadaya both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. this was not so in past. what may be the root cause of this behaviour? discuss the reasons and possible results.

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

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Ambition is a positive quality for people to have in society today. How important is it for people who want to succeed in life? Is it a positive or negative characteristic?

Some people think governments should spend money on faster means of public transport. However, others think money should be spent on other priorities (eg cost, environment). Discuss both views and give your own opinion.