Nowadaya both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. this was not so in past. what may be the root cause of this behaviour? discuss the reasons and possible results.

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Nowadays, individuals of both genders spend more money on

beauty

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care

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and cosmetic

tools

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in comparison to the past. The main causes of

this

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phenomenon are increasing advertisements about fashion and rising income and using

beauty

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care

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tools

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leads to unreal

beauty

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and

skin

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diseases. By increasing revenue, all

people

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try to use

beauty

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care

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to show themselves more attractive. In the past, society made limited money and they just spent it on necessary demands like food, clothes, and accommodation but now their earnings are much more than they need, and

due to

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that

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that,

show examples

they try to purchase inessential

tools

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beauty

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care

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tools

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In addition

Linking Words

, Social media has the most impact on our lives and lifestyle and all

people

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follow everything that becomes a trend. Various media like YouTube, Tiktak and Instagram exist and famous

people

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advertise many

beauty

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care

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tools

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because they have contracts with

beauty

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companies or these companies sponsor them.

For instance

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, Kim Kardashian is one of the most popular celebrities and many

people

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particularly youngsters follow her she focuses on advertising

beauty

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care

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products and it can be seen the brand which she advertises as much profit.

As a consequence

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, many

people

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particularly women and girls have fake

beauty

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and unnatural faces. Women and girls try to makeup more attractive by using different

tools

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and in spite of that men are attracted but these women do not have beautiful faces in their real life and sometimes it can cause problems in their common life after some years like divorce.

Moreover

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, most

beauty

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care

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tools

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are created with chemical components that are harmful to the

skin

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. By utilizing these kinds of compounds,

people

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encounter many

skin

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diseases and their

skin

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quality will be demolished.

For example

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, the majority of

beauty

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care

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products include mercury which is harmful to our bodies and leads to cancer and other illnesses. In conclusion, increasing advertisements about

beauty

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care

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and fashion and surging wages lead to spending more money on

beauty

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care

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products in comparison to the past which leads to an increase in unnatural faces and

skin

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diseases.

hadadianmohamadhosseinFri Apr 26 2024

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Task Achievement

Try to clarify and deepen your argumentation by expanding on your examples and how they specifically support your points. Including more detailed examples and the logical connection between them and your argument can significantly enrich your essay.

Coherence & Cohesion

Organize your essay into distinct paragraphs, each addressing a particular aspect of the question. Make sure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas within them are logically ordered.

Other

Using a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures can help to better express your ideas and make your essay more engaging. Avoid repetition of words and phrases when possible.

Other

Pay attention to the accuracy and appropriateness of language use. Avoid grammatical errors and strive to use the correct form of words and phrases.

Task Achievement

You effectively addressed the essay topic by discussing both causes and consequences of the trend towards increased spending on beauty care. This shows a good understanding of the task.

Task Achievement

You made good use of examples, like the reference to Kim Kardashian and the impact of social media, to illustrate your points. This helps to make your argument more concrete.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

348 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Societal pressure
Media influence
Unrealistic beauty standards
Technological advancements
Disposable income
Homogenous beauty ideal
Globalization
Cosmetic trends
Psychological impact
Self-esteem
Social status
Beauty care
Personal appearance

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Nowadaya both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. this was not so in past. what may be the root cause of this behaviour? discuss the reasons and possible results.

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this gap year?

Whether or not a person achieves their aims in life is mostly related to luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.