IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows the number of girls and boys playing sport in an English town in 2012

The graph shows the number of girls and boys playing sport in an English town in 2012
#girls #boys #sport #english #town
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The given bar graph compares how many
boys
Use synonyms
 and
girls
Use synonyms
 practice
sports
Use synonyms
 in an English town in 2012.The graph indicates six different types of
sports
Use synonyms
 ( tennis,
Badmenton
Correct your spelling
Badminton
,
cyclying
Correct your spelling
cycling
, swimming, football and hockey).
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
boys
Use synonyms
 who practice
sports
Use synonyms
 is more than the
number
Use synonyms
 of
girls
Use synonyms
 in
m ost
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the graph shows that football is
most
Rephrase
more
show examples
 popular than any other sport for
boys
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 swimming is more preferable than others for
grils
Correct your spelling
girls
. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
boys
Use synonyms
 who
playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
 football
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 60 which
represented
Wrong verb form
represents
show examples
 the highest
number
Use synonyms
 among the other
sports
Use synonyms
.Comparing to
girls
Use synonyms
 which is
third
Correct article usage
a third
show examples
 of
boys
Use synonyms
 (20). Tennis is the second
popular
Correct quantifier usage
most popular
show examples
 game for
boys
Use synonyms
 50.
While
Linking Words
 hockey attracted the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 of
boys
Use synonyms
 more than 10. Regarding
girls
Use synonyms
, It is noticed that most
girls
Use synonyms
 do swimming at 50.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Badmenton
Correct your spelling
Badminton
was the second choice for
girls
Use synonyms
 at 40. Similar to
boys
Use synonyms
 hockey is under 20 and showed the least
number
Use synonyms
 .
Submitted by monahhj123 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 89%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, girls, sports, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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