Work is the most important thing in life without a career life becomes meaningless
As it is enunciated by a proportion, without a successful career individual’s
life
is worthless as well
as
occupation plays a pivotal role in human Correct word choice
and
being’s
lives.Fix the agreement mistake
beings’
This
apprehension has merit and demerits. Albeit there is a dichotomy of views on this
concern I harbor
the belief that Change the spelling
harbour
this
element is totally unwarranted.I will provide interesting justifications and essential elements to justify my perspective .
To begin
with ,working has placed a high premium on society in this
contemporary era.Most of the youngsters ought to be productive and energetic to do their jobs.Moreover
,doing a job gives significant benefits such
as getting a good salary to spend a superior life
, living better when individuals get older , interacting
with social groups . Without a doubt , individuals are doing a service to Correct word choice
and interacting
public
and the government Add an article
the public
due to
the fact that more than 50% economy depends on the
employment .Correct article usage
apply
Furthermore
, what if we do without doctors ,teachers and engineers.
Change the punctuation
?
On the other hand
, occupation can not measure individual’s
success.A person’s image is filled with more and more other alternative elements.Correct article usage
an individual’s
For example
,the spirit of brotherhood ,the common good ,their skill development including sports and interacting with social groups , preventing
crimes.Not only that but Correct word choice
and preventing
also
,without happiness and confidence in the
Correct article usage
apply
life
we can not get a
higher Correct article usage
apply
standers
.
Correct your spelling
standards
To sum up
, in my perspective work is one of the alternative aspects in
Change preposition
of
life
. If we have a passion ,dream and making
money we should get a better job Wrong verb form
make
on the contrary
we have a
liberty to choose what makes us happy and succeedCorrect article usage
the
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task response
To improve clarity, ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by specific examples. Expanding on examples will make your argument stronger.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on linking ideas more seamlessly between paragraphs. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Including a more detailed introduction and conclusion can strengthen your essay. Clarify your stance in the introduction and summarize your main points in the conclusion.
task response
You've effectively addressed both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the task requirements.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay structure (introduction, body paragraphs, conclusion) is appropriately organized.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?