Work is the most important thing in life without a career life becomes meaningless

As it is enunciated by a proportion, without a successful career individual’s
life
is worthless
as well
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
occupation plays a pivotal role in human
being’s
Fix the agreement mistake
beings’
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lives.
This
apprehension has merit and demerits. Albeit there is a dichotomy of views on
this
concern I
harbor
Change the spelling
harbour
show examples
the belief that
this
element is totally unwarranted.I will provide interesting justifications and essential elements to justify my perspective .
To begin
with ,working has placed a high premium on society in
this
contemporary era.Most of the youngsters ought to be productive and energetic to do their jobs.
Moreover
,doing a job gives significant benefits
such
as getting a good salary to spend a superior
life
, living better when individuals get older ,
interacting
Correct word choice
and interacting
show examples
with social groups . Without a doubt , individuals are doing a service to
public
Add an article
the public
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and the government
due to
the fact that more than 50% economy depends on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employment .
Furthermore
, what if we do without doctors ,teachers and engineers
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
On the other hand
, occupation can not measure
individual’s
Correct article usage
an individual’s
show examples
success.A person’s image is filled with more and more other alternative elements.
For example
,the spirit of brotherhood ,the common good ,their skill development including sports and interacting with social groups ,
preventing
Correct word choice
and preventing
show examples
crimes.Not only that but
also
,without happiness and confidence in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
we can not get
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
higher
standers
Correct your spelling
standards
show examples
.
To sum up
, in my perspective work is one of the alternative aspects
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
life
. If we have a passion ,dream and
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
money we should get a better job
on the contrary
we have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
liberty to choose what makes us happy and succeed
Submitted by kaushigimhani3820 on

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task response
To improve clarity, ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by specific examples. Expanding on examples will make your argument stronger.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on linking ideas more seamlessly between paragraphs. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Including a more detailed introduction and conclusion can strengthen your essay. Clarify your stance in the introduction and summarize your main points in the conclusion.
task response
You've effectively addressed both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the task requirements.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay structure (introduction, body paragraphs, conclusion) is appropriately organized.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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