In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #university #students #home #study #city

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These days, there are more and more students

Wrong verb form

going

show examples

university

Use synonyms

to find higher

knowledges

Change the wording

knowledge

pieces of knowledge

bits of knowledge

show examples

and more work opportunities. Some of them choose to go to a nearby

university

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

still living with their family.

However

Linking Words

, some decide to attend

university

Use synonyms

far away from their

home

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. In my opinion, studying away from

home

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give

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gives

show examples

students more benefits. And in

this

Linking Words

essay, I will provide reasons about why I believe that students should

studying

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study

be studying

show examples

away from

home

Use synonyms

and my own examples. First of all, I see that the two largest disadvantages when studying far from

home

Use synonyms

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

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people having less

time

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with their family and getting homesick. When someone

spending

Wrong verb form

spends

show examples

less

time

Use synonyms

with their family,

as a consequence

Linking Words

, they

lost

Wrong verb form

lose

show examples

connections with their family members and relatives. For

Correct article usage

apply

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example, when my older

cousins

Fix the agreement mistake

cousin

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finished her high school diploma, she decided to go to a

university

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in a more developed city in Canada. Soon, she

spend

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spent

show examples

less

time

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talking with her dad,

which

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who

show examples

is my uncle, and

also

Linking Words

less meeting with her

friends

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. She

also

Linking Words

told me that she missed things in our hometown, especially the food and the cuisine.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, living far from

home

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can help them meet new people

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

get more

friends

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and even try new things that they probably

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

never seen before.

This

Linking Words

mean

Change the verb form

means

show examples

they will

get

Verb problem

have

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different concerns and a more diverse background. To

examplify

Correct your spelling

exemplify

, I have gone to Saigon, a

nearby

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

city

from

Change preposition

near

show examples

home

Use synonyms

to study high school. At

first,

Linking Words

it takes

time

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to make new

friends

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and create new habits.

Although

Linking Words

it's pretty harsh at

first,

Linking Words

I soon blend into the new environment and learn new things. As a

results

Correct the article-noun agreement

result

show examples

, I got beautiful memories, new best

friends

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and

also

Linking Words

widen

Wrong verb form

widened

show examples

my eyes.

To conclude

Linking Words

, I prefer learning far from

home

Use synonyms

because I can make new relationships and different

view

Fix the agreement mistake

views

show examples

about that place.

Submitted by k2englishcenter on Sat Apr 27 2024

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overall

The essay presents a clear position throughout, and your examples bolster your arguments effectively. However, ensuring a more balanced discussion of both benefits and disadvantages could enhance the essay further.

coherence cohesion

Consider improving the essay's coherence by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to make connections between ideas more explicit.

style

To elevate your essay, work on varying your sentence structures more and using a broader vocabulary to express your ideas.

accuracy

Review for small grammatical errors and typos to polish your writing. Attention to detail in language accuracy can further improve your score.

content

Your essay effectively uses personal examples to enrich your argument, making your points more relatable and understandable.

structure

You have successfully structured your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that discuss different viewpoints, and a concluding paragraph that summarizes your stance. This organization aids in the reader's comprehension.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

313 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

independence
self-reliance
finance management
exposure
broaden horizons
open-minded
adaptability
conducive environment
isolation
homesickness
financial burden
household duties
academic responsibilities
personal growth

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In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Topic: some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play\ with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the children of having a large number of toys?

It is expected that there will be a higher proportion of older people than young people in many countries in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Children nowadays watch significantly more television than those in the past, which reduces their activities levels accordingly. Why is this case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children?

A lot of places in the world relyon tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantegs and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweight its drawbacks?

The student who study from the school to university get benefit less and contribute less too, than those of student who go to travel or job and get skills and experience before going high. Do you agree or disagree?