Some poeple think universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. what, in your opinion, should be the main function of a university?

Some individuals believe that
universities
should consider the preparation process to
work
market
by giving
graduates
the knowledge and skills they need,
while
others support the
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
that the main function of
universities
is to teach them the traditional curriculums. I would agree with the first trend, and I will elaborate on my opinion with relevant examples.
Firstly
, those who opine that
universities
should focus on providing learners with knowledge that will qualify them to obtain their certificates ignore
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
fact that the
work
market
eligiabilty
Correct your spelling
eligibility
is of paramount importance,
for instance
, in Egypt, giant companies do not hire fresh
graduates
as they do not have the sufficient experience
thay
Correct your spelling
they
need,
however
many of them have studied full four years in university, and
as a result
of that many of fresh
graduates
are forced to
work
in different fields to gain experience.
Moreover
,
work
readiness should begin at
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
age before getting the degree,
therefore
educational organizations are not only for studies
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
for
work
preparation
Secondly
,
recent
Add an article
a recent
show examples
analysis of the
unemployement
Correct your spelling
unemployment
rate showed that the
gape
Correct your spelling
gap
show examples
is quite wide between the courses that undergraduates study at
universities
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and the actual
work
market
knowelege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
.
For example
, some curriculums still teach old methods of
work
such
as booking financial transactions in sheets,
whereas
companies now are using software,
therefore
youth are not
quilfied
Correct your spelling
qualified
to integrate
in
Change the preposition
into
with
show examples
workforce
Add an article
the workforce
show examples
as lack of basic knowledge they need. If
universities
consider
work
Correct article usage
the work
show examples
readiness issue, many
graduates
will not suffer from
unemployement
Correct your spelling
unemployment
. In conclusion,
although
studying has been the main function of
universities
for decades, they have a vital role to play nowadays.
preparaing
Correct your spelling
Preparing
graduates
for
work
Correct article usage
the work
show examples
market
should be one of
Correct article usage
the universities
show examples
universities
Fix the agreement mistake
university
show examples
basic roles.
Submitted by abdoo.magicoo on

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Example Development
You've done a good job of outlining your stance on this issue and backing it up with relevant examples. However, consider expanding on your examples to more vividly illustrate how they support your argument.
Coherence
To enhance coherence, try to make smoother transitions between your paragraphs and sentences. This can be achieved by using a wider variety of linking words and phrases.
Balanced Perspective
Ensure that your essay keeps a balanced view if required by the task. While you have efficiently presented your opinion, reflecting briefly on the opposing viewpoint could further strengthen your argument.
Structure
Your essay has a clear structure, with a discernible introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which aids in the reader's understanding.
Example Usage
You have successfully illustrated the main theme with appropriate examples and explanations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Workforce preparation
  • Career readiness
  • Employability skills
  • Intellectual growth
  • Critical thinking
  • Pursuit of knowledge
  • Professional training
  • Liberal arts education
  • Comprehensive education
  • Career aspirations
  • Personal development
  • Intellectual curiosity
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