Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree?
It is
undoubtly
the case that Correct your spelling
undoubtedly
people
with privilage
, in Correct your spelling
privilege
this
case
Add the comma(s)
case,
they
who are rich have the chance to help those who are in need. I strongly agree with the idea that it gives an Correct pronoun usage
those
opportunity
for rich people
to help others with their wealth.
The most compelling reason for my stance is that helping other
can be Fix the agreement mistake
others
easily
by giving up their money directly. Change the word
easy
This
can be seen by doing charities, giving food to strangers or simply providing food for animals in shelter
. Fix the agreement mistake
shelters
Furthermore
, the opportunity
of helping
others with their wealth can be done with their contribution to the academic field by giving Change preposition
to help
scholarship
to Fix the agreement mistake
scholarships
Add an article
the young
a young
young
generation
Correct word choice
younger
that is
serious about continuing their education but cannot afford the tuition fee. For instance
, the top ten richest man in the world, Bill Gates built a fondation
that Correct your spelling
foundation
focusing
on funding Wrong verb form
focuses
student
who
are under Fix the agreement mistake
students
Correct article usage
the privilage
privilage
Correct your spelling
privilege
to get
Change preposition
of getting
scholarship
until they finish their education.
Another thing that Fix the agreement mistake
scholarships
support
my argument is that rich Change the verb form
supports
people
can help the lower class indirectly by creat
Correct your spelling
creating
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job opportunities
opportunity
. Wealthy family usually get their wealth by doing business or become
an
investor. Those who Wrong verb form
becoming
in
business, indeed, need Add a missing verb
are in
employee
to run their company and make it bigger and make profits. Add an article
an employee
the employee
Consequently
, not only the
business owner Add a missing verb
does the
who
get the advantages but Correct pronoun usage
apply
also
the
worker. This
means that rich people
can help indirectly to those who are in need by giving them a
job Correct article usage
apply
opportunity
.
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
To sum up
, I would argue that having the Correct your spelling
privilege
privilage
of being rich gives the Correct your spelling
privilege
opportunity
to help other
directly Fix the agreement mistake
others
with
spending their money and indirectly by giving the Change preposition
by
opportunity
to lower
class to
have a job.Correct article usage
the lower
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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Clear and Comprehensive Ideas
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Logical Structure
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Grammar and Precision
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Thesis Statement
You effectively conveyed your agreement with the statement by providing a clear thesis in your introduction.
Use of Examples
Good job on including examples, like the Bill Gates Foundation, which helps to ground your arguments with tangible evidence.
Conclusion
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Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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