Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people , however , think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your opinion .

#governments #progress #people #country

Nowadays,

due to

the development of

technology

Add a comma

technology,

show examples

numerous higher authorities around the world give more importance to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

economic progress,

whereas

some individuals believe that other major progress different

than

Change preposition

from than

show examples

economic

sector

are

also

essential for a

nation

to grow.

Hence

, both views are

further

elaborated in the upcoming paragraphs with valid examples and explorations.

Firstly

, discussing the former view, the first and foremost point is that, if the economic state of a region is escalating day by day

then

that area will evolve rapidly. For

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

example, the USA

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

was the most

finincial

Correct your spelling

financial

country in the year 2000 ,

likewise

, it is the most developed

nation

till now.

Furthermore

, the

Crovernment

Correct your spelling

government

believe that by focusing on

this

sector

they can make the lives of their

people

easygoing.

For instance

, the standard of living of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

folks will rise with

latest

Correct article usage

the latest

show examples

technology and equipment which require a large sum of funds. In

this

way, residents can live a

peacefull

Correct your spelling

peaceful

life. On the flip side, numerous

people

argue that several different types of advancement

Change the verb form

are

show examples

also

beneficial

as well as

essential for a

nation

To begin

with, to make sure

future

Correct article usage

the future

show examples

is in better hands it is important for the current and next generation of children to get quality education and transform them into various skill professions for evolving the region.

Moreover

, the

law makers

Correct your spelling

lawmakers

show examples

also

should focus on removing poverty and helping poor

people

. To give an explanation, if

Change the article

show examples

area has

large

Change the article

a large

the large

show examples

number of

people

below

poverty

Add an article

the poverty

show examples

line,

then

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

rising

finincial

Correct your spelling

financial

sector

is of no use.

Therefore

, the Government must focus on

this

sector

to improve the lives of poor

people

. Conclusively,

Correct pronoun usage

there

show examples

is no doubt that for the development of any

nation

economic progress is essential,

however

Add the comma(s)

however,

show examples

I believe that to make sure the future is in good hands better academic education for students and reducing the number of folks living below

poverty

Add an article

the poverty

show examples

line is very important. So, I believe in the latter view.

Submitted by akshayashvi07 on Sat Apr 27 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

General

Continue to structure your essay with clear paragraphs, each dedicated to a distinct idea. This aids in maintaining logical flow and coherence.

Coherence Cohesion

Introduce more varied linking words to enhance the connections between your ideas and paragraphs.

Task Response

Work on incorporating a wider range of vocabulary specific to the topic to strengthen your argument and make it more compelling.

Task Response

Encourage providing more specific examples to support your points. This will not only enrich your essay but also help in demonstrating a deeper understanding of the topic.

Coherence Cohesion

Good structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, contributing to the essay's overall coherence and ease of understanding.

Task Response

Successfully discusses both viewpoints as well as providing a personal opinion, meeting the essay prompt's requirements.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

16Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

329 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

standard of living
sustainable development
social equality
environmental degradation
cultural heritage
technological innovation
wealth disparity
human development index
holistic approach
quality of life
economic prosperity
healthcare system
education system
cultural diversity
policy decisions

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people think that children should begin their education at a very early age. Some think they should begin at least 7 years old. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
People have different views about whether children should start their formal education as early as possible or delay it until they are at least 7 years old. Personally, I believe an early commencement of study would be far more beneficial than a later start.
4.5
band
Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that they should not go to school until they are older. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
One side of society supports that parents should send children to studies at an early age. In contrast, others believe that this trend may create impact on kids, thus we should provide education as they get older. In my perspective, both ideas have its own merits and demerits on kid growth factor
6.5
band
Some people believe that school children should do their class work individually. Other people believe that sometimes class work should be done in small groups. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
To improve children's development, society argues that children should do their tasks individually, while others believe children also need a group assignment. In this essay, I will discuss both sides and give my own perspective.
7.5
band
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
People hold differing views on whether competition in various aspects of life, such as work, education, and daily activities, is beneficial or if cooperation should be prioritized. In my opinion, both competition and cooperation play essential roles in achieving success, and a balance between the two is most effective.
5
band
Littering in cities is an increasing problem which needs to be dealt with. Some people think that steeper fines is the best way to deal with the problem. To what extent do you agree?
There is a significant increment of littering in cities while most of the cities suffer of that, while steeprt fines might help in this situation as people believed. this essay totally agree with this statement fines might be the solution of this issue.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people , however , think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your opinion .

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that children should begin their education at a very early age. Some think they should begin at least 7 years old. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that they should not go to school until they are older. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that school children should do their class work individually. Other people believe that sometimes class work should be done in small groups. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Littering in cities is an increasing problem which needs to be dealt with. Some people think that steeper fines is the best way to deal with the problem. To what extent do you agree?