Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people , however , think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your opinion .
Nowadays,
due to
the development of technology
numerous higher authorities around the world give more importance to Add a comma
technology,
the
economic progress, Correct article usage
apply
whereas
some individuals believe that other major progress different than
economic Change preposition
from than
sector
are also
essential for a nation
to grow. Hence
, both views are further
elaborated in the upcoming paragraphs with valid examples and explorations.
Firstly
, discussing the former view, the first and foremost point is that, if the economic state of a region is escalating day by day then
that area will evolve rapidly. For an
example, the USA Correct article usage
apply
which
was the most Correct pronoun usage
apply
finincial
country in the year 2000 , Correct your spelling
financial
likewise
, it is the most developed nation
till now. Furthermore
, the Crovernment
believe that by focusing on Correct your spelling
government
this
sector
they can make the lives of their people
easygoing. For instance
, the standard of living of the
folks will rise with Correct article usage
apply
latest
technology and equipment which require a large sum of funds. In Correct article usage
the latest
this
way, residents can live a peacefull
life.
On the flip side, numerous Correct your spelling
peaceful
people
argue that several different types of advancement is
Change the verb form
are
also
beneficial as well as
essential for a nation
. To begin
with, to make sure future
is in better hands it is important for the current and next generation of children to get quality education and transform them into various skill professions for evolving the region. Correct article usage
the future
Moreover
, the law makers
Correct your spelling
lawmakers
also
should focus on removing poverty and helping poor people
. To give an explanation, if a
area has Change the article
an
large
number of Change the article
a large
the large
people
below poverty
line, Add an article
the poverty
then
their
rising Correct pronoun usage
its
finincial
Correct your spelling
financial
sector
is of no use. Therefore
, the Government must focus on this
sector
to improve the lives of poor people
.
Conclusively, it
is no doubt that for the development of any Correct pronoun usage
there
nation
economic progress is essential, however
I believe that to make sure the future is in good hands better academic education for students and reducing the number of folks living below Add the comma(s)
however,
poverty
line is very important. So, I believe in the latter view.Add an article
the poverty
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General
Continue to structure your essay with clear paragraphs, each dedicated to a distinct idea. This aids in maintaining logical flow and coherence.
Coherence Cohesion
Introduce more varied linking words to enhance the connections between your ideas and paragraphs.
Task Response
Work on incorporating a wider range of vocabulary specific to the topic to strengthen your argument and make it more compelling.
Task Response
Encourage providing more specific examples to support your points. This will not only enrich your essay but also help in demonstrating a deeper understanding of the topic.
Coherence Cohesion
Good structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, contributing to the essay's overall coherence and ease of understanding.
Task Response
Successfully discusses both viewpoints as well as providing a personal opinion, meeting the essay prompt's requirements.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example