Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people , however , think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your opinion .

#governments #progress #people #country

Nowadays,

due to

the development of

technology

Add a comma

technology,

show examples

numerous higher authorities around the world give more importance to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

economic progress,

whereas

some individuals believe that other major progress different

than

Change preposition

from than

show examples

economic

sector

are

also

essential for a

nation

to grow.

Hence

, both views are

further

elaborated in the upcoming paragraphs with valid examples and explorations.

Firstly

, discussing the former view, the first and foremost point is that, if the economic state of a region is escalating day by day

then

that area will evolve rapidly. For

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

example, the USA

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

was the most

finincial

Correct your spelling

financial

country in the year 2000 ,

likewise

, it is the most developed

nation

till now.

Furthermore

, the

Crovernment

Correct your spelling

government

believe that by focusing on

this

sector

they can make the lives of their

people

easygoing.

For instance

, the standard of living of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

folks will rise with

latest

Correct article usage

the latest

show examples

technology and equipment which require a large sum of funds. In

this

way, residents can live a

peacefull

Correct your spelling

peaceful

life. On the flip side, numerous

people

argue that several different types of advancement

Change the verb form

are

show examples

also

beneficial

as well as

essential for a

nation

To begin

with, to make sure

future

Correct article usage

the future

show examples

is in better hands it is important for the current and next generation of children to get quality education and transform them into various skill professions for evolving the region.

Moreover

, the

law makers

Correct your spelling

lawmakers

show examples

also

should focus on removing poverty and helping poor

people

. To give an explanation, if

Change the article

show examples

area has

large

Change the article

a large

the large

show examples

number of

people

below

poverty

Add an article

the poverty

show examples

line,

then

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

rising

finincial

Correct your spelling

financial

sector

is of no use.

Therefore

, the Government must focus on

this

sector

to improve the lives of poor

people

. Conclusively,

Correct pronoun usage

there

show examples

is no doubt that for the development of any

nation

economic progress is essential,

however

Add the comma(s)

however,

show examples

I believe that to make sure the future is in good hands better academic education for students and reducing the number of folks living below

poverty

Add an article

the poverty

show examples

line is very important. So, I believe in the latter view.

Submitted by akshayashvi07 on Sat Apr 27 2024

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General

Continue to structure your essay with clear paragraphs, each dedicated to a distinct idea. This aids in maintaining logical flow and coherence.

Coherence Cohesion

Introduce more varied linking words to enhance the connections between your ideas and paragraphs.

Task Response

Work on incorporating a wider range of vocabulary specific to the topic to strengthen your argument and make it more compelling.

Task Response

Encourage providing more specific examples to support your points. This will not only enrich your essay but also help in demonstrating a deeper understanding of the topic.

Coherence Cohesion

Good structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, contributing to the essay's overall coherence and ease of understanding.

Task Response

Successfully discusses both viewpoints as well as providing a personal opinion, meeting the essay prompt's requirements.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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16Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

329 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

standard of living
sustainable development
social equality
environmental degradation
cultural heritage
technological innovation
wealth disparity
human development index
holistic approach
quality of life
economic prosperity
healthcare system
education system
cultural diversity
policy decisions

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Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people , however , think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your opinion .

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many people believe that the media plays a crucial role in shaping public opinion. Others argue that individuals have the power to form their own opinions independent of media influence. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that children benefit from the TV and they should spend much time on it, but others support that children should not watch TV. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people believe that the best way of learning about life is by listening to advice of family and friends. Others believe that the best way learning way of learning is through personal experience. What is the best way in you opinion?

Some people think that government should spend money on building new train lines,while others believe that improving public transport is more beneficial.Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. Discuss both these attitudes and give your opinion.