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The table data shows the proportion of income adults and children spent on 4 common items in the United Kingdom in 2005.

The table data shows the proportion of income adults and children spent on 4 common items in the United Kingdom in 2005.
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The chart depicts the percentage of expenditure spent by adults and
children
Use synonyms
 on various things like
Food
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, Electronic
equipment
Use synonyms
,
Music
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 and
Videos
Use synonyms
 in London in 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly apparent, that teens, girls and boys had an increment in expenditure throughout the period and the young adults and elders had decreased their expenses.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it is clearly apparent, that Men and Women had the highest expenses in the
Food
Use synonyms
 category, 30% and 39% but by that time their expenditures were falling down to different categories like Electronic
equipment
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,
Music
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 and
Videos
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. Men with 21%, 5%, 2% and Females with 7%, 2% and 0.5%.
Likewise
Linking Words
, Elders
also
Linking Words
 had downwards in every category,
Food
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, Electronic
equipment
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,
Music
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 and
Videos
Use synonyms
 with around 28%, 15%, 4% and 2%.
In addition
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 and teens had higher budgets for every single item,
Besides
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 that
Children
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 and Boys have similar spending.
Children
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 with 11%, 35%, 41% and 15% and Boys 9%, 28%, 36% and 20%.
However
Linking Words
, Girls have claimed
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
 highest place in expenditure on
Music
Use synonyms
 and
Videos
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 with 38% and 16%
lastly
Linking Words
, the second
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 expenses are for
Food
Use synonyms
 and Electronic
equipment
Use synonyms
 at around 11% in both categories.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words children, food, equipment, music, videos with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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