At an early age, children should be taught how to be aware true or false in a particular situation. To help them understand this difference, punishment is an essential consequence. Although many people suppose that it is not necessary,
At an early age,
children
should be taught how to be aware true or false in a particular situation. To help them understand this
difference, punishment is an essential consequence. Although
many people suppose that it is not necessary, I agree with this
perspective.
Numerous individuals argue that children
in early childhood are too young to learn the way to determine right and wrong. I believe the first lesson that children
should learn which
is awareness of a particular scenario as Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
affects directly on
their behaviours. If Change preposition
apply
children
can distinct
the difference between right and wrong, they are able to avoid dangerous situations or undesired incidents. Replace the word
distinguish
For instance
, children
have awareness
of their behaviours, they will not go to dangerous places Correct article usage
an awareness
such
as river
, Fix the agreement mistake
rivers
forest
, Fix the agreement mistake
forests
mountain
... without the control of their Fix the agreement mistake
mountains
parents
.
Regarding punishments
, parents
and teachers
must have corresponding measures in cases children
oppose compliance. There are a lot of situations Change preposition
in that
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
children
are not aware so they need to be taught by their parents
and teachers
, and punishments
are essential in case they break the rules. For example
, there were several cases Change preposition
in that
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
children
went too far their
accommodations Change preposition
for their
due to
curious
. Replace the word
curiosity
This
led to unfortunate accidents happening with them such
as they got lost which resulted in exhaustion, and death. Additionally
, parents
and teachers
must always have close observations on
Change preposition
of
children
to avoid those accidents, and one of the effective ways to educate children
is punishment. If children
violate the rules, some punishments
will be imposed on them such
as warning or denying their several requests.
To conclude
, there are a lot of arguments among citizens with diverse opinions to educate children
on the dissimilar between right and wrong at an early age. I believe that this
is vital. Additionally
, parents
and teachers
need to have some essential punishments
to help children
understand this
lesson as well.Submitted by weezel on
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Language Use
Your essay provides a clear point of view and supports it with relevant examples, which is excellent. To improve, try to use a wider range of vocabulary to clearly express your ideas and avoid repetition.
Coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a single clear idea, supported by examples or explanations. This will improve the clarity and impact of your argument.
Task Response
In discussing punishments, it's important to also consider their impacts on children's psychology and behavior in a balanced way. Including a range of perspectives may enrich your argument and demonstrate deeper analytical skills.
Language Use
Be cautious of minor grammatical errors and work on sentence structure to enhance readability and effectiveness of your communication.
Structure
You successfully structured your essay with a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
Examples
The use of specific examples to support your points helped make your argument more persuasive and grounded in reality.
Coherence
You maintained a logical flow of ideas throughout, which helped in making the essay coherent and easy to follow.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...