At an early age, children should be taught how to be aware true or false in a particular situation. To help them understand this difference, punishment is an essential consequence. Although many people suppose that it is not necessary,

At an early age,
children
Use synonyms
should be taught how to be aware true or false in a particular situation. To help them understand
this
Linking Words
difference, punishment is an essential consequence.
Although
Linking Words
many people suppose that it is not necessary, I agree with
this
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perspective. Numerous individuals argue that
children
Use synonyms
in early childhood are too young to learn the way to determine right and wrong. I believe the first lesson that
children
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should learn
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is awareness of a particular scenario as
this
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affects directly
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their behaviours. If
children
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can
distinct
Replace the word
distinguish
show examples
the difference between right and wrong, they are able to avoid dangerous situations or undesired incidents.
For instance
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,
children
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have
awareness
Correct article usage
an awareness
show examples
of their behaviours, they will not go to dangerous places
such
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as
river
Fix the agreement mistake
rivers
show examples
,
forest
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forests
show examples
,
mountain
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mountains
show examples
... without the control of their
parents
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. Regarding
punishments
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,
parents
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and
teachers
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must have corresponding measures in cases
children
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oppose compliance. There are a lot of situations
Change preposition
in that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
children
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are not aware so they need to be taught by their
parents
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and
teachers
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, and
punishments
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are essential in case they break the rules.
For example
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, there were several cases
Change preposition
in that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
children
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went too far
their
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for their
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accommodations
due to
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curious
Replace the word
curiosity
show examples
.
This
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led to unfortunate accidents happening with them
such
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as they got lost which resulted in exhaustion, and death.
Additionally
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,
parents
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and
teachers
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must always have close observations
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
children
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to avoid those accidents, and one of the effective ways to educate
children
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is punishment. If
children
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violate the rules, some
punishments
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will be imposed on them
such
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as warning or denying their several requests.
To conclude
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, there are a lot of arguments among citizens with diverse opinions to educate
children
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on the dissimilar between right and wrong at an early age. I believe that
this
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is vital.
Additionally
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,
parents
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and
teachers
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need to have some essential
punishments
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to help
children
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understand
this
Linking Words
lesson as well.

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Language Use
Your essay provides a clear point of view and supports it with relevant examples, which is excellent. To improve, try to use a wider range of vocabulary to clearly express your ideas and avoid repetition.
Coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a single clear idea, supported by examples or explanations. This will improve the clarity and impact of your argument.
Task Response
In discussing punishments, it's important to also consider their impacts on children's psychology and behavior in a balanced way. Including a range of perspectives may enrich your argument and demonstrate deeper analytical skills.
Language Use
Be cautious of minor grammatical errors and work on sentence structure to enhance readability and effectiveness of your communication.
Structure
You successfully structured your essay with a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
Examples
The use of specific examples to support your points helped make your argument more persuasive and grounded in reality.
Coherence
You maintained a logical flow of ideas throughout, which helped in making the essay coherent and easy to follow.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...
What to do next:
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