In many countries, financial crime involving indentity theft is increasing. What are the causes of this trend, and what effect does identity thefts have on the victims involved ?

In some nations, economic offences involving recognising
theft
are increasing.
This
essay will discuss the problems of
this
trend
along with
some solutions in the forthcoming paragraphs. To commence with the cause of
this
phenomenon. The predominant one is less
police
force in small
areas
. To elaborate , there are a number of rural
areas
in many countries where there is extremely little
police
service.
Therefore
,
theft
could very smoothly steal money and hurt the pupils.
For instance
, the bank of Whitehorse City which located in Yukon Canada had a robbery
due to
fewer
police
officers were doing a job there. To mitigate
this
, the government should assign
police
officers in the countryside
areas
so they can fight with thefts. Shifting towards another problem people keep shops open for late night in popular locations. To answer
this
, usually in rush
areas
pupils open their shops and restaurants
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
late
night
Change preposition
at night
show examples
due to
this
theft
stealing money from them and injuring them.
For example
,
last
month in downtown Kajheri there was an incident in the K.K shop where a thief injured the manager and robbed money. To tackle
this
, individuals should close these shopes timely. In conclusion,
although
because of less
police
force and leaving shops open at midnight can increase financial crime through
theft
, yet it can be solved by authorities.
Submitted by jeetsarb1481965 on

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Task Achievement
In the introduction, directly address the essay's topic and questions. A clearer connection between identity theft and the discussed causes/effects would strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Elaborate further on the specific causes and effects of identity theft. The essay currently focuses on general theft and security, not directly tackling the nuances of identity theft.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use clear topic sentences to signal the main idea of each paragraph. This aids in creating a logical flow of information and argumentation.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses closely on the essay's topic. The examples provided should directly relate to identity theft, not general theft or security issues.
Examples
You provided examples to support your points, which is good practice for illustrating your arguments.
Structure
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion, which aids in overall readability and coherence.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • identity theft
  • financial crime
  • data breach
  • phishing scams
  • social engineering
  • sensitive data
  • online transactions
  • credit score
  • financial loss
  • emotional impact
  • psychological impact
  • data protection
  • cybersecurity measures
  • trust
  • digital technology
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