The three pie charts provide information about the percentage of degrees granted in terms of four different professions at the National University over the period in question.

The three pie charts provide information about the percentage of degrees granted in terms of four different professions at the National University over the period in question.
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This
Linking Words
illustrations
Change the determiner
illustration
show examples
shows
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
degrees in four sciences. It was computer
science
Use synonyms
, medicine, business and law. In 20 years period. In my opinion, computer
science
Use synonyms
was
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
very interesting since
Add an article
the
show examples
introduction of it and
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
of students increased
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
15%
up to
Change preposition
over
show examples
20 years.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
law
science
Use synonyms
shows the least level of improvement
among
Change preposition
at
show examples
that time.
While
Linking Words
medical
science
Use synonyms
professionals increased about 5% from 1990 to 2010.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, business
science
Use synonyms
holders decreased
15
Change preposition
by 15
show examples
% from 1990 to 2010. In conclusion, the world going to computer
science
Use synonyms
and technology as we
know
Correct pronoun usage
know it
show examples
.
Submitted by afnan.sa1992 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words science with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentages
  • professions
  • industry demands
  • societal trends
  • gender distribution
  • equality
  • persistent gender gaps
  • job market
  • supply and demand
  • employment challenges
  • technological advancements
  • economic conditions
  • policy changes
  • societal shifts
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