The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#bar #persons #job #type #sex #australia #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The bar chart

illustrate

Change the verb form

illustrates

show examples

number

Change the article

a number

the number

show examples

of people employed in different

field

Fix the agreement mistake

fields

show examples

of work both men and

women

Use synonyms

in Australia

last

Linking Words

year .

Overall

Linking Words

, it is clearly noticeable that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

females

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

highest

Correct article usage

the highest

show examples

employed

Replace the word

employees

show examples

in clerical and males in

Tradespeople

Correct article usage

the Tradespeople

show examples

.Lowest

women

Use synonyms

in the Production and tradesperson.

To begin

Linking Words

with managers ,

they

Correct pronoun usage

there

show examples

are 600 000 male employees and just 200 000

Change preposition

apply

show examples

female , followed by

Professional

Fix the agreement mistake

Professionals

show examples

between 600 000 and 700 000

among

Change preposition

apply

show examples

both.Semi-professional above 500 000 in

mens

Correct your spelling

men's

men

and below 400 000 in

women

Use synonyms

's. Tradespeople are highest among all kinds of job for men with 900 0000 .and

women

Use synonyms

in clerical just below 1000 000 .

On the other hand

Linking Words

least

Correct article usage

the least

show examples

employees are girls in Tradespeople and production with 100 000 respectively.Labour and production

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

550 000 and 400 000 respectively.Below 300 000 female employees worked in labour .

Submitted by nikhilguni on Sun Apr 28 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words women with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

140 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Employment figures
Sectors
Significant disparities
Gender balance
Skewed
Trends
Patterns
Dominant
Inferred
Labor market
Year-on-year comparison
Insights
Implications

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The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

In modern times, children are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

People living in the 21st century have a better life quality than people who lived in previous times. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.