The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#bar #persons #job #type #sex #australia #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The bar chart

illustrate

Change the verb form

illustrates

show examples

number

Change the article

a number

the number

show examples

of people employed in different

field

Fix the agreement mistake

fields

show examples

of work both men and

women

in Australia

last

year .

Overall

, it is clearly noticeable that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

females

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

highest

Correct article usage

the highest

show examples

employed

Replace the word

employees

show examples

in clerical and males in

Tradespeople

Correct article usage

the Tradespeople

show examples

.Lowest

women

in the Production and tradesperson.

To begin

with managers ,

they

Correct pronoun usage

there

show examples

are 600 000 male employees and just 200 000

Change preposition

apply

show examples

female , followed by

Professional

Fix the agreement mistake

Professionals

show examples

between 600 000 and 700 000

among

Change preposition

apply

show examples

both.Semi-professional above 500 000 in

mens

Correct your spelling

men's

men

and below 400 000 in

women

's. Tradespeople are highest among all kinds of job for men with 900 0000 .and

women

in clerical just below 1000 000 .

On the other hand

least

Correct article usage

the least

show examples

employees are girls in Tradespeople and production with 100 000 respectively.Labour and production

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

550 000 and 400 000 respectively.Below 300 000 female employees worked in labour .

Submitted by nikhilguni on Sun Apr 28 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words women with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

140 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Employment figures
Sectors
Significant disparities
Gender balance
Skewed
Trends
Patterns
Dominant
Inferred
Labor market
Year-on-year comparison
Insights
Implications

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The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Rich countries should allow jobs for skilled and knowledgeable employers who are from poor countries. Do you agree or disagree.

Scientists have been warning for many years about protecting the environment and that people must limit the use of energy in their daily lives. Despite warnings, many people do not do so. What are the reasons for this and how can people be encouraged to protect the environment?

The picture below shows the difference in the layout of the conference centre in 2010 and 2025.

Some people think that to learn about other countries, they need to travel. Some say that it is not necessary to travel; we can have information through TV and the Internet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.