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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays, many people prefer to rent a house rather than buying their house. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages

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During
Change preposition
In
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 earlier days, it was quite common
among
Change preposition
for
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 people to buy a
house
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 on their own.
However
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,
this
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 trend has now been reduced and many people
prefers
Change the verb form
prefer
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 to live in a rented
house
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 rather than
buying
Wrong verb form
buy
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 one. We shall discuss the benefits and drawbacks of
this
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 phenomenon in
this
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 essay. The main advantage of staying in a rented
house
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 is that tenants do not have to take up much responsibility to maintain the
house
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.
This
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 means that individuals or families, when living in someone’s
house
Use synonyms
 for rent are less accountable compared to own houses.
For instance
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, if there is an issue with any of the utilities
such
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 as electricity, water, heater etc., tenants can give a call to his /her owner and the latter is liable to resolve the problem at the earliest possible time.
Hence
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, tenants feel more relaxed and can stay calm
while
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 living in a rented building.
On the other hand
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, buying
own
Correct pronoun usage
your own
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house
Use synonyms
 has many advantages too.
Firstly
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, it gives
lot
Change the article
a lot
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 of freedom to the owners to design their living space
according to
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 their
wish
Fix the agreement mistake
wishes
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.
For example
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, they can decorate walls using paintings and stickers which makes the
house
Use synonyms
 more beautiful.
Secondly
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,
own
Wrong verb form
owning
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Use synonyms
house
Correct article usage
a house
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 is an asset to any individual or family because
in
Add the comma(s)
, in
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 most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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cases, the value of the property would increase tremendously in future years. Even if a person decides to sell his
house
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, there won’t be any loss, rather it brings him profit as the resale value is high.
Lastly
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, staying in own
house
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 eliminates the risk and struggles of
house
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 shifting which is a herculean task.
While
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 considering all these merits, an own
house
Use synonyms
 has many positive sides. In short, having
own
Correct pronoun usage
your own
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house
Use synonyms
 has more advantages than disadvantages.
Therefore
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, it is better to purchase
an
Change the word
your
show examples
 own
house
Use synonyms
 to make life enjoyable, peaceful, and profitable.

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Task Achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the topic and presents a balanced view of advantages and disadvantages, both for renting and owning a house. To enhance clarity and directness, consider introducing your main points more distinctly in the introduction and ensure a clear thesis statement is present.
Coherence & Cohesion
To further improve coherence, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to show the relationship between ideas more clearly. While your essay is well-organized, clearer connectors could enhance the logical flow of information.
Task Achievement
In discussing the advantages and disadvantages, incorporating more varied and detailed examples could strengthen your argument and support your points more effectively. Specific examples make your essay more persuasive and engaging.
Introduction & Conclusion
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, framing your arguments effectively and coming to a direct statement on your stance at the end.
Logical Structure
The essay maintains a logical structure, effectively separating and discussing the advantages and disadvantages of renting vs. buying a house.
Supported Main Points
You've supported your main points well with explanations and examples, though adding more specific instances could further strengthen your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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