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Band 2

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

#plans #show #park #first
The map shows the changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Grange
Park
 over 104 years from 1920 to the present. Generally,
it is clear that
 Grange
Park
witnesses
Wrong verb form
witnessed
show examples
 a significant modernization. Most noticeable,
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
 replacement of
fountain
Correct article usage
the fountain
show examples
 in the
central
Replace the word
centre
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 by the large rose garden and a new amphitheatre for concerts. As can be clearly seen from the picture
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 to the east, the blank spot with the glasshouse and seats
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 remoted and restored by a huge water feature.
Besides
, right below it, there is a new entrance underground car
park
. After 124 years, many seats scattered in Grange
Park
 are gathered
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
central
Change the word
centrally
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 arranged
around
Change preposition
apply
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rose garden.
Next,
the vanish of the pond for water plants. It is replaced by a new children's play area where
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
 can let their kids in there.
Submitted by quynhtranhbh on

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Structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion to strengthen the structure.
Coherence
Use a variety of transition words to improve the connectivity between your sentences and paragraphs.
Task Response
Try to include an overview statement in your introduction or conclusion to summarize the main changes or comparisons.
Detail
You provided specific examples to describe the changes in Grange Park, which helped to create a clear picture.
Logic
The overall progression of your essay is logical, discussing changes from 1920 to the present in a way that is easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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