You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

It is common for
people
to pay for healthcare in various nations.
However
, some argue that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
should
detail
Verb problem
ensure
show examples
that all
people
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
be taken
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medical
care
for free payment. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will explain why I disagree with
this
medical free payment argument.
To begin
with, there is an advantage for many individuals because everyone
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
take medical
care
, even if they don't have enough
incomes
Fix the agreement mistake
income
show examples
. These days, some
people
avoid medications because of their financial
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
and only
wealthy
Correct article usage
the wealthy
show examples
can see
doctor
Add an article
a doctor
the doctor
show examples
when they are
illness
Replace the word
ill
show examples
.
As a result
,
this
leads
inequality
Change preposition
to inequality
show examples
of lives between
wealthy
Correct article usage
the wealthy
show examples
and poverty class. But recently,
this
financial unfair problem
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
not so serious because there are a lot of
insuranses
Correct your spelling
insurance
insurances
services in many countries.
Then
, I believe that there are some disadvantages here.
Firstly
, demands could exceed provides.
For example
, in Canada, which provides free medical
care
, there are always numerous
people
in hospitals and they should wait for a long time if they seem to be in severe situations. Under
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
circumstances, the quality of
care
could decrease because of
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
of doctors.
In addition
,
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
must be sored to maintain
this
free payment system, and there is no doubt that it
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
citizen's lives more challenging. In conclusion, I don't think government should provide a free medical service.
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some nations have already started, but they have faced disadvantages and I believe that
insurance
Correct article usage
the insurance
show examples
system can solve difficulties for poor
people
.
Submitted by mayu1022.p on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear standpoint on the topic, but could further enhance its argument by expanding on the relevant examples to strengthen the points made. Try to include more detailed examples from real-life situations or studies.
coherence cohesion
The organization of ideas is logical, but transitions between them can be improved for smoother flow. Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas and paragraphs.
grammar
There were small inaccuracies in grammar and spelling within your essay. Practice on refining your grammar usage and double-check your writing for spelling errors to enhance clarity and professionalism.
content
You presented a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of free medical care.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, neatly bookending your discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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