In the past, most working people had only one job. However, nowadays, more and more people have more than one job at the same time. What are the reasons for this development? What are the advantages and disadvantages of having more than one job?
It is a known fact that individuals have multiple employments in the current time period. In
this
Linking Words
essay
I will be discussing the various factors responsible for Add a comma
essay,
this
trend Linking Words
as well as
the benefits and drawbacks Linking Words
for
the same.
The primary reason causing the upsurge of Change preposition
of
this
situation is the rising inflation around the world. Events Linking Words
such
as the 2008 economic crisis and Linking Words
global
covid pandemic can Correct article usage
the global
be hold
accountable for the escalation of inflation. Change the verb form
be held
Due to
Linking Words
Linking Words
this
the citizens were unable to cope Add a comma
this,
up
with Change preposition
apply
increase
in Add an article
the increase
an increase
cost
of goods and Add an article
the cost
hence
had to join multiple jobs. Linking Words
For instance
, a news article showed an increase Linking Words
of
inflation by up to 20% Change preposition
in
post pandemic
. Add a hyphen
post-pandemic
In addition
to Linking Words
this
, the newer generation lives a more materialistic lifestyle these days compared to the past, Linking Words
due to
which they spend more on their wants than their actual needs. Linking Words
This
has made Linking Words
more
money-oriented, which could be a rationale behind one opting for multiple shifts presently.
Now, talking about the benefits of Correct pronoun usage
it more
this
situation, performing numerous jobs provides a sense of financial security. People these days have several debts and daily expenses to pay and if one Linking Words
looses
a job Replace the word
loses
then
they could be put in a distressing position. Linking Words
Therefore
, having multiple Linking Words
occupation
is essential. Change to a plural noun
occupations
Additionally
, another advantage would be an extra disposable income which can quench one’s materialistic wants. Linking Words
In contrast
, the chief drawback that Linking Words
coexist
with Change the verb form
coexists
this
development is the excessive mental and physical stress that people incorporate Linking Words
in
their lives. Job burnout is the new normal currently Change preposition
into
due to
chronic workplace stress.
In conclusion, having Linking Words
manifold
occupation does provide financial stability, but it does Correct article usage
a manifold
comes
with Change the verb form
come
it
own set of challenges.Change the pronoun
its
Submitted by niravfb1987 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance clarity and coherence, ensure your paragraphs are neatly structured and each new idea is introduced clearly. This helps in maintaining a smooth flow of information throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
For a higher score in task achievement, aim to integrate a wider range of examples and deeper analysis into your arguments. While your response covers the task well, adding more varied and detailed examples could provide additional depth to your discussion.
Comprehensive Coverage
You've effectively covered both parts of the question, discussing reasons for the trend as well as advantages and disadvantages.
Logical Structure
Your essay demonstrates a good logical structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Supported Main Points
Use of relevant examples and clear main points support your arguments well, making your essay informative and engaging.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example