IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace. Do the benefit of this mobility out where the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Technological advancements and cutting-edge
gagdets'
Correct your spelling
gadgets
 creation have brought many advantages to human beings, one of the foremost
is
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 remote work.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason, many people argue that working from home has many advantages that should be leveraged,
while
Linking Words
 many others think that
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
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overweigh
Verb problem
outweigh
show examples
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
. I believe that both sides should be considered, and in
this
Linking Words
 essay, I explain in detail my point of view. To start with, working remotely rocketed when the COVID-19 pandemic began,
however
Linking Words
, nowadays its popularity has increased dramatically.
This
Linking Words
 is related to its main advantages given by saving time and money,
thus
Linking Words
 there is a reduction
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the stipends spent
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 commuting, which could represent 20% or 30% of the total expenses,
as well as
Linking Words
 many hours should be
traveled
Change the spelling
travelled
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 since there are long distances.
For example
Linking Words
, in Bogota, the transportation system is called 'Transmilenio'
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
cost
Wrong verb form
costs
show examples
 approximately 3.000
colombian
Change the capitalization
Colombian
show examples
 pesos per person, and hundreds of people take more than one hour to arrive home
due to
Linking Words
 the traffic
condictions
Correct your spelling
conditions
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, some demerits should be enumerated where, perhaps, social skills and socialization are the most vital topics. Since societies have been created, humans have had a huge capacity
of talking
Change preposition
to talk
show examples
 and
relating
Wrong verb form
relate
show examples
 to each other.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, working from residential areas
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 cut off these relationships leading to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 many psychiatric disorders.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Japan, many mental issues
such
Linking Words
 as depression and anxiety have peaked
due to
Linking Words
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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 of stress with less personal interactions.
To sum up
Linking Words
, there are merits and downsides that should be taken
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 account when remote work
is being considering
Change the verb form
is being considered
is considering
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, employees'
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
 should be evaluated
as well as
Linking Words
 social conditions,
Linking Words
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
 alternatives
have been
Wrong verb form
should be
show examples
 proposed
such
Linking Words
 as hybrid programs.

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Structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a distinct main idea that is developed and elaborated upon.
Linking
Use a variety of linking words to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. This will help in creating a more coherent and cohesive essay.
Content
Try to provide more balance in discussing both sides of the argument. While you've presented both advantages and disadvantages, ensure each side is thoroughly explored to provide a more comprehensive view.
Examples
You have effectively used examples from real-life scenarios (e.g., Bogota's Transmilenio) to support your arguments, making your essay both relatable and persuasive.
Structure
Your essay shows a good structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing separate points, and a summative conclusion. This organization enhances readability and clarity.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • telecommuting
  • remote work
  • flexible hours
  • work-life balance
  • cost-efficiency
  • carbon footprint
  • global talent pool
  • cybersecurity
  • data breaches
  • virtual collaboration
  • isolation
  • team cohesion
  • performance monitoring
  • accountability
  • hybrid working model
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